It's time to be serious.

I realize that I have been trying to be funny, written mostly about the lighter side of subjects, and treated everything in a somewhat glib manner, but the blog's followers have now reached the double digits and I feel it is time to tackle a more serious topic. I do not want to overstep my bounds and alienate a large portion of people with controversy but this may be the only time I am allowed to reach as many people as this forum does. I mean, 10 followers in one place! This is heady stuff. The shear magnitude, the impact, the implications. I hope I don't alienate any of my loyal readers with seriousness. I know that you have come to expect a certain tone and I do want to deliver, but this is a subject that begs to be addressed. I only hope I am not too late.



I may seem like someone who sees everything as humorous but there are two topics that really do not lend themselves to humor. Please bear with me as I delve into a more serious subject matter and try to prove that I am more than someone who only knows how to be silly.

The first topic that upsets me instantly is the threat of nuclear proliferation in an unstable region of the world ruled by dictatorial regimes that are bent on the systematic increase in their own unchecked power. The second, and I am sure you will all agree, is the poorly designed parking lots surrounding our local movie theater in the ironically named Union Landing shopping center.

This place is ironically named because a "union" implies a coming together, a marriage, sharing. A partnership! This place, conversely, was designed by six separate, developmentally delayed, anti-social...blind...ex convicts who feel that that the convenience of others is overrated. Seriously, the parking lots in this series of connected shopping centers are worse than the M.C. Escher painting of triangular stairs that go nowhere. There are five or six sections (no one knows for certain) that are all connected geographically but have never met as far as driveways are concerned. It is frustrating when you pull into one section and can see the place you are trying to get to only to be thwarted by ill conceived cement barriers. A driver can feel like Moses wandering through the desert, seeing the promised land but never reaching it. Before she passed, Mother Teresa was rumored to try to drive to Michael's from TGIFridays. The resulting profanity laden tirade was a YouTube hit for months!

"Landing" is also an ironic choice of name for this place where very little "landing" is happening. Landing implies settling down gently, becoming comfortable after a journey, to alight ever so gently on the self selected olive branch of peace. The landing in this shopping center is in short supply. In the section by the movie theater for instance there are (allow me to do some math) 25 theaters with many seats each, 8 restaurants, numerous shops, (let's see that works out to ... carry the 2... divided by pi... ) a lot of people. They have 34 parking spaces. I may have rounded up for dramatic effect but you get the idea. It has become a growth industry for people to go park in the lot early on and then sell their spot to a frantic dad with 5 teeny-boppers in tow.

"Psst. Buddy. You need a space?"

"Yeah, are you leaving?"

"For 100 bucks!"

"Come on pal, it's my daughter's birthday and she is going to be disappointed if we miss the previews that start in 3 minutes!"

"I see. Well the price of parking just went up!"

This is happening all over the place, probably, in this shopping center and I feel that we should try come back to traditional family values in terms of parking. Or go someplace else.

It is typically not a problem since we live in an area full of redundancy (and there are many similar choices too) so I can usually avoid this shopping center. But there are times when this parallel lined torture chamber is the only place that has what we need. It is fine as long as you plan on an extra 30 minutes to find a parking space, hire a Sherpa, and hike toward the place you want to go. We did just that and made it out of there in one piece. It was a beautiful thing. The next local telethon needs to involve money to hire workers with jackhammers to tear down those sidewalks!



I feel better getting that off my chest. Thank you for listening.


I have also decided that my goal is no longer to make millions writing this blog. I will settle for a personalized parking space in the Union Landing parking lot....after all, I could sell that for billions!