Sunday, December 14, 2014

California Mega Storm (The hidden survivors journal)

It started out with my trying to sleep in.  For the first time in my entire teaching career (and my school attending career as well)  The districts decided to shut down the schools for the anticipation of a horrendous storm.  I made my observations on Facebook to pass the time.  (Yes, where I live we had power the whole day.) I thought I would put all of my storm rambles together in one post.  Here's how the day before started, when I heard that I would not be allowed to teach the next day.

Ok, So I have resigned myself to being part of kooky California...but closing the schools because it's going to be rainy and windy...Now we're just gonna be laughed at by all the other states. Be prepared everyone, California is gonna have its lunch money taken away by Rhode Island and Texas is gonna give us a swirlie!

Then this is how I woke up.  It pretty much put me in a goofy mood.

So whoever had "5:08 A.M." in the 'When will Jeff's dogs wake him up on the day he unexpectedly gets to sleep in" are the winner. Unfortunately your prize was seen tumbling down the street in the wind.

I don't want to alarm anyone but our wind chimes were just playing the Minute Waltz in 47 seconds. Also, I just saw a silly old bear who seemed to be stuffed with fluff, and his little piglet friend, floating away while holding an umbrella. More updates to follow.

People kept asking me to continue I did.

Storm Survivor Journal:
8:02 A.M.
I haven't seen any other survivors in more than an hour. They are all sleeping in. The dogs, who normally bark at trouble, are silent. I can only assume that means there is no trouble.
Spent the better part of an hour writing a constitution to rebuild society...then I thought, Nah, I'll just Google the one that already exists.
It's been days since I've had milk. Mostly because I haven't had the desire to have any. I am going to attempt the arduous walk into the kitchen to get some. Wish me luck.

Storm Survivor Journal:
10:51 A.M.
Successfully navigated the parking lot where the tires pushed away the water that was standing in one area of more than 2 inches. It really put the "Most terrain: Level Moderate" rating on the tires to the test. Water splashed aside almost two feet away from the van. I did not need to put chains on at this time.

Inside the store I navigated the aisles and had difficulty finding the bare necessities. There were so many choices in the the way. I stocked up for a couple of days of existence before I realized that they only had one lane open. I was the only customer, so the wait wasn't terribly long. I was pleased to see that the complete breakdown of the monetary system had not happened yet. I was able to pay with a credit card.
I was able to get the food into the house before our son lost his mind. I briefly regretted teaching him about the Donner party, but when he poured himself a bowl of cereal, my fears abated.
Our indoor shower, that is installed in the middle of our living room ceiling, is working nicely but seems to be stuck in the "on" position. There are two gentlemen on the roof trying to turn the knob to "off" somehow. I did not hire snipers to watch their every move, mostly because I called them and asked them to do it.
Morale is high. I credit it to discovering that Looney Tunes plays reruns during the day when I would usually be working. I will attempt to update further as the seconds turn into minutes, and the minutes turn into hours...but for now, That's all folks!

Storm Survivor Journal:
2:42 P.M.
The rationing has begun. I have taken stock in our supplies and determined that we need to be careful. The determining factors were: number of people in the house, number of bags of individual sized potato chips (Lay's Classic), and the likelihood that our teenage son has a hollow leg used to store food. Jake and Sylvia (my co-survivors) ventured out in the weather to go to a party. I can only hope that they made it, and eat enough to not notice that I have eaten most of our supplies.
It has become apparent that I need to pay attention to some sort of exercise regimen, I fear that my muscle tone has begun to atrophy. I blame the people who have sent me messages from the outside regarding my journal. I may have to send a coded message explaining that you are only encouraging me.
The rain has been steady for a few hours now. If I were to go outside I would be soaked to the skin in mere hours of being in the elements. I can certainly see the wisdom involved in having so many news reports and school closures. Imagine the turmoil that would ensue if hundreds of Californians were to walk around with slightly water spotted polo shirts.
I actually forgot one of my very own survival tips and paid dearly for the mistake. I walked outside to talk to someone on the front steps and I completely forgot to take off my glasses. The numerous steps involved in removing tiny little drizzle droplets from my glasses almost made me miss the beginning of the program I wanted to watch on TV.
The dogs are getting anxious and fidgety. I can only assume that it is due to it being only ten minutes away from their normal feeding time. Having a full month's supply of food is small comfort in the face of this one day storm. Somehow we must strive to go on...even in speckled shirts.

Storm Survivor Journal:
4:03 P.M.
I can only assume that the nearly 12 hours of steady dampness has begun to take its toll on the people of California. There must be some sort of brain fungus that remains dormant until the roads stay wet for longer than a marathon of westerns starring Don Knotts (excluding the Apple Dumpling Gang series). I think the fungus has been activated.
I noticed the descent into madness while I braved the elements to check the mailbox. I was not washed into the abyss as I leaned out of the door. There was no mail yet so the danger has not fully passed yet.
The evidence, I saw two cars going down the road at a reasonable speed. The second car, however, was following so closely they could have been part of a fuel injected conga line. The only reason I can see that a person would follow so closely on a wet day like today is that his (or her) brain has been taken over by an extraordinary substance.
Had a nice surprise. My mom stopped by. I saw her from a distance, through the downpour, and opened the door while she disembarked from her weather gear. (closed her umbrella). There was no sign of her sherpa. I can only imagine that he was lost on the trip. I'm sure mom performed a nice ceremony next to the impromptu marker where he breathed his last.
Odd occurrence on this damp day. Our old fashioned telephone, the one attached to the wall, proved that it was effective on days like this. It's effective on other days too but it worked today like any other day. When it sprang to life I was a little startled because it is usually only used by salespeople and people conducting surveys. Today was no different. I was glad to see that it was operating as it should. It's a good thing too, that was the way my school district chose to inform me that they were going to force all of the innocent children of our district to trudge through the aftermath of this mega-storm and make them go to school. The bottoms of their shoes will be wet and there will most likely be soggy leaves for them to stomp on.
With them coming to school, fortunately, means that I will be going in to work. They say that the way to get over a traumatic event is to get right back into what you would do normally. I can only hope to recover from this experience...over time.

Storm Survivor Journal:
11:43 P.M.
It is past time to go to bed and I just want to say that I am looking forward to a day where the most exciting thing will be when my entire class tells me, at nearly the same time, that they saw a lot of rain and wind yesterday.
I would like to say thank you for putting up with my silly little ramblings. I would also like to say that I understand that there were several places, relatively close by, that experienced real storm trouble and flooding. In trivializing the overreaction of the news media for our area I definitely did not mean to trivialize people who were going through actual hardship. Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone who have been inconvenienced, injured, or put out of their houses.
And so, with a slightly dampened spirit (of course the pun was intended) I crawl off to bed as I dream of which shower I will use in the morning since the gentlemen with the tarps failed to stem the rising tide of water continuing to pour into the living room. We're thinking of telling the insurance company that the storm blew away the entire second story of our house. Papa wants a new master bedroom! Wish us luck.

Still working on the emotional scars.  Day by by.... day.....