Saturday, December 1, 2012

We Bought A Crib!

Some time ago, I wrote that I had found an old folder with a lot of my writing from various creative writing classes I had taken in college before Sylvia and I were married. I told you that I would read through it, pick certain ones, and re-write them here.  We were engaged when I wrote this one.  I hadn't looked at that folder in months/years, but today is the day.  I had said that I would re-print my writing in its entirety with no changes.  Well sue me...I can see that I was even less concerned with punctuation than ever and that my teacher was extremely patient and generous.  I didn't come across the first paper she commented on but that will be coming someday.  There were a few influences in my life that made me think people might want to hear the things I have to say.  This teacher was the first.  I cannot write about her yet, but, to honor her, I will someday...

I read this essay (that is what the teacher called all of our writing) and I seriously thought I was losing my mind.  The timing was wrong.  The details were wrong.  Did I use creative editing and fiction back then?  But I kept reading...Oh, I get it...Never mind...  I hope you enjoy my walk down dot-matrixed memory lane:


It was pretty fun to do it!  We actually bought a crib. I should say that Sylvia actually bought it just because she made all the decisions.  I let her do that because she will most likely have to do most of the work when the little one arrives.  Sure I will help, but in all reality it will be she that gets the brunt of the work.  She did pick out a nice one though.  It's dark wood finished, a personal favorite of mine, and the bumpers are yellow with little bits of pink and blue.  The set of sheets that she bought match the bumpers.  I am sure that Consumer's Digest would approve of this purchase if it were only based on safety and reliability  but it also has a unique quality that gives it charm.  It's not too low so the average man has to bend halfway at the waist just to see in, but it's also not too tall to let the the average woman be able to get to it comfortably.

My sister has a crib that must have been designed be a rather short person who was upset at the world and wanted to bow the backs of every person who was taller than him.  I love seeing my niece, but I can't bring myself to get her out of that torture device my sister calls a crib.

Anyway, the salesperson was so helpful and polite.  She mentioned that Sylvia and I were being so smart buying it so early.  Then she commented on how Sylvia hadn't even started to show yet.  We just smiled.  We also smiled when Sylvia told her friend what we had bought.  All we told her was that we bought a new piece of furniture, then made her guess the rest.  Her guesses went from "chair?" to "table?" to "bed?" to "CRIB!?!" then to shrieks of joy and laughter!  That was fun making her guess.  We may do the same to my mother, but I don't want to cause a heart condition.  It may be a little too much for her to find out that way that we bought a crib.  Sylvia's mother was with us when we bought it so she missed out on the guessing game.  Too bad, I would have like to see the expression on her face when played this little game with her.

Back to the salesperson.  After she told Sylvia that she wasn't even showing, she asked when the little one was going to arrive.  We said, "December seventh on the four o'clock plane from Munich."  You see, Sylvia's cousin is coming from Germany and she is bringing her one-year-old son with her.  We bought the crib so she wouldn't have to drag one all over the world.  And besides that, it was cheaper to buy than to rent.  Why did you think we bought it?

Jeff Garrett

(Me again...blogger...this century)  Well how'd I do?  It was the first paper I read in the folder that didn't make me feel too embarrassed to print it.  I wanted to make a few comments and maybe clear up a thing or two.  I had forgotten about this story completely when I started reading it.  I knew that our crib was not dark, it was white.  I knew that we didn't need to buy a crib until well after we were married.  I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I would have never expected Sylvia to do most of the work with a baby (although she will tell you that I could sleep/snore through a train wreck...even if the train was hauling cymbals).  When this particular baby arrived Sylvia did do most of the work involved...not the baby stuff, Birgit took care of all of that, but Sylvia was busier than ever with preparations for the wedding and being a translator for her mono-lingual fiancee.

The teacher's comments?
"Clever!  I'm glad you didn't upset Mom.  Maybe let her read this, now that she knows."
Well Mom, here you go.