Shhh...Do you hear that?

"Vroom Vroom" is good if you're in a car commercial, not so good if the orthodontist is describing what your kids' braces are paying for, and lousy if you're describing the sound your computer is making. We, unfortunately, fall into the last category. I'm not sure how or why but someone has converted our desktop computer into something powered by outboard motor.

Actually I am exaggerating (I do that...like a billion times a day) but the computer is noisy. It ranges from the pulsating wheeze, to the pie plate in the shredder, to what I affectionately call the last gasp. I'm not terribly worried about it. After all it's not like anyone has offered me millions to write a book that I could lose from the hard drive if the computer dies. I've become accustomed to the thought that I may not be offered millions for a first book from a rookie.

Although, (You have to imagine the last "o" in this although lasting an impossibly long time...like when Sylvia agrees with something I have said and then says "althooooooooo we could __________" to show that she didn't really agree.) I did find two fortune cookies that no one had claimed last night, as I was straightening up before bed. The first said, "Success will come to your plans." Hah!! I knew it. But it's just a fortune cookie. The next said, "Success will be yours at home and in business in the next month." They were impossibly stale so I only got the fortune. Well I toyed with the idea of eating them. Ok, so I ate the darn cookies...sue me! Don't get the wrong idea, I think fortune cookies have about the same predicting power as a magic eight ball, a tossed coin, or a TV weatherman, but every once in a while it is funny how close they come. Before I even met Sylvia (officially) I got a fortune that said, "Someone you see likes you." I thought of Sylvia right away. (I will eventually tell this story, maybe when I get a few thousand followers...kidding) I actually took this fortune and put it on the refrigerator in my apartment. Ask Craig my old roommate. Actually, don't ask him, he won't remember anyway.

I do have a secret to tell though. I tease about making a lot of money, but my actual plan has been to have someone who has never heard my real voice tell me that my scribblings are worthwhile. I have had several friends tell me, "I can totally hear YOU saying that!" It's nice, and having a voice in writing is a wonderful compliment, but I am wondering if it translates to someone who hasn't seen my jolly self acting out the many stories I enjoy telling (complete with straining facial expressions). I also am concerned that my mom will run out of money paying people for comliments...she is already almost tapped out paying Sylvia to stay married to me. I would also like to be paid, by someone, for something, because in my mind after you are paid to write, then you can call yourself a writer. Now, I just have a hobby. Not a problem though, I am going to have success in the next month, right?

Anyway, back to the original idea for today...the noisy computer. It is making the sustained wheeze mixed with a little "scattering of dry leaves in a fall breeze" this morning. It's ok. I can live with it. If I'd eliminated everything in my life that made funny noises... I'd never have gotten to know my uncle.