Gooooaaaaaaaalllllllllll !!!!!!!!!!

I am a sports retard in the strictest sense of the word.

Now Wait! Before you label me an insensitive clod, let me explain two things. I am a teacher and I would never use that word to describe a person...ever....EVER...gun to my head NEVER. Second, I taught special education for a decade and I heard this word a lot from others and my thinking was to educate and confuse to take the power out of the word.

"Retard!"

"Oh? Where is he going? And I didn't know you spoke French! And by the way, you are pronouncing it wrong."

Attitudinally "Huh?" (actually this is a word but I was trying to be funny) complete with a raised eyebrow.

"I mean you just told him we was going to be a late arrival."

"Huh?"

"That is what you said. Retard is a French word that means something is going to be late."

Walking away.

retardé
adj retardé, retardée [ʀətaʀde]
1 différé qui est remis à un autre moment
une arrivée retardée

I said all that so I could explain, when it comes to sports I am clueless and I am arriving late. I was never an enthusiast, for any sport, ever! I kept telling Sylvia that she was a lucky woman. I am a guy who will never "disappear" for any kind of season. And then Sylvia (and her first generation German roots) introduced the family to The World Cup! Bye Bye Hon! Oh wait, you are on the couch next to me! Cool!

While soccer doesn't seem to be part of my DNA like some people I know, I have an appreciation for soccer on many levels.

I love the fact that The Cup is the best of the best. I think there is something about the human condition that longs to find out who is the best...at anything. (notice that publishers? I said "the human condition" so that must mean I am intellectual and worthy of millions for my book) As a kid, my brother and I found millions of competitions in our everyday lives. Who can hit the street sign with the rock? Who can stick the pocket knife into the tree from here? Who can throw the rock farther across the lake? Who can grab the phone number from mom to the pretty girl who is looking for something to do on New Year's Eve? (I won...and continue to win...but that is another story for another day) I'm not too interested in all the qualifying rounds that gets the teams into the World Cup competition but once all the teams get into the cup I'm hooked.

I like that there are many countries coming together with a common goal and, most of the time, a common respect. Bragging rights are a good thing when taken in moderation. I have no interest in the people who become mean when talking about another country based on the performance of a team. A team who, let's be honest, has not been influenced in any practical way by anyone but the coaches. Around our house we are rooting for Germany with a mix of Italy and a dash of USA. We like to cover our bets so to speak.

I am also a big fan of teamwork as well. There are not many things that show the positive effect of teamwork as soccer. When teams work together, they score. When teams don't work together, they lose. It is good to work in a team with a common goal...or should I say GOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

There was a scene in the movie Vision Quest where a cook was describing to the star that he was watching the soccer star Pele do his signature over his head kick into the goal. The cook said that he got emotional about it since this was a human being, "a species he belonged to" who was able to do amazing things. I understand that emotion. I live that emotion. But of course I am a guy so I never let anyone see that...don't tell.

And finally, it is nice to see sports for sports sake. I am not someone who begrudges anyone making an obscenely large amount of money...I hope to be that someone someday (soon)...but I think it is more interesting to me to see someone play a sport and not have the announcer talk about buckets of money.

"Well fans, here we are back after the fifty eighth commercial in the first three minutes of play. You all may find it interesting that the quarterback is making 180 thousand dollars while I finish this sentence and in the time it took me to blow my nose during the break, he financed his daughters' braces."

I like that these soccer players play for prestige, honor, and the love of the game.

I would love to write more but the USA England game just started and I need to hang this up. Wish us luck!

And to dispel any misconceptions you may have about someone who doesn't watch sports nonstop being a wimp let me tell you that I lettered in high school sports...TWICE! (Hey! Badminton is a sport!)