A New Scheme

I know the recurring theme in my blog has been "Get Rich Quick" and then retire in our new blog-paid-for forty foot motor home (with an H2 as a tow car), but 'quick' doesn't seem to be in the cards.  I am adopting a new plan as of right now...no wait...almost...timing is everything...waiting...ok, Now!  So there you go.  I have a new scheme in the works.  I call it my, "Get Rich Really Really Slowly" plan.  At this point it is working like a charm!  (even though I have officially been on this plan for only about twenty seven seconds now)

Ever since I allowed ads to be placed on the blog I have been amazed at how the numbers have been ad'ing up. (really bad pun intended)  The number of dollars in my ad revenue account has been climbing faster than the number of people who choose to wrestle, polar bears, wearing meat clothing, with their hands tied behind their backs, blindfolded, underwater, on the twenty ninth of February!  Compared to those numbers, I don't want to brag, but the word skyrocket comes to mind!  It's getting a little overwhelming.  I felt the need to step back and take stock in what I was really trying to accomplish.  It hit me.  I want lots and lots of people to read what I write.

I have already written to our two newspapers in this area, Editor Lisa Wrenn at The Argus and the good people over at the Tri City Voice.  I have to tell you, the response has been an awakening.   You know that saying about a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters for a million years and they will eventually bang out the complete works of Shakespeare?  Well these newspapers are waiting for the monkeys to finish up before they write back to me.  Good news though...I hear that one of the monkeys has already finished a draft of Hamlet but is having to rework it because she had a little trouble with her iambic pentameter.  (take that everyone who said you would never use the things you learned in high school!) 

With "paid for writing in the newspaper" not being part of my biography I started to think about ways to make more money.  Wandering the parking lot looking for spare change came to mind.  Too much walking.  Delivering papers on my bicycle rather than writing for them.  Too much pedaling.  Holding an arrow shaped sign on the corner advertising new apartments for rent.  Too much twirling.  I came to the realization that I am lazy.  Sitting at the computer typing is about the peak of my daily exercise.  (If my doctor is reading this, it is a total lie...didn't you read on April Fools day that I go to the gym daily?  Go with that.)  And then I started thinking, maybe there are other people out there who are just as, let's say, relaxed in the amount of effort they wish to exert.  I could help them. 

The best way to begin a new venture (according to moments of imaginary research) is to start with what you know.  I'm a teacher.  I know kids.  Then, think of something that they really like to do.  Coloring.  Then focus in on my selected target audience.  Motivationally challenged.  And, Voila!  Coloring books for lazy kids!  I am already in the middle of designing my book.  You may be thinking that coloring books have been done and done and there's nothing new to say in that genre.  I beg to differ.  My books will feature animals.  Actually they will feature a select group of animals that have been under-represented in the coloring book arena...until now!  My book will feature, Zebras, Dalmatians, Penguins, Pandas, Skunks, and Polar Bears (not the ones people wrestle).  When the market is saturated with these I will come out with a companion set that features the more exotic white tigers and all animals albino.  I could market them to two groups of people.  One book would come by itself and one would be for the more advanced child and come with a white crayon attached.  If that doesn't fit into my "Get Rich Really Really Slowly" plan then I don't know what does! 

Following the success of my newest book series newspapers will have to beg me to write for them!  Well maybe not beg.  It would be nice if they asked.  I'm getting a little tired of running all over town and inserting copies of my blog into peoples' papers...too much taping.  So wish me luck!

It's only a matter of time until the pennies start rolling in...of course I'll have to wait until someone walks by to help me pick them up...too much bending.