I...Have...Arrived...(kinda)

A while ago, way back in November, I wrote about Dave Barry in my blog.  I wanted to let you, my faithful readers, know that I have been contacted by Mr. Barry, and it wasn't a cease and desist order either!  I was writing about the fact that he was actually getting paid for writing silly things in the paper.  I have been getting paid as well.  As of this writing I am skyrocketing up to six dollars and thirty two cents in revenue generated by the ads on my blog.  Google doesn't actually send checks for less than ten dollars so I haven't actually seen any of the profit yet, but it could happen at any time!  Well, at any time in about four hundred days since I average about a penny a day...but I digress.

As is my custom, whenever I mention people in the blog I send them a note to let them know.  I have reconnected with old friends, I have gotten new followers, and I have been rumored to have received a restraining order or two...but I'm sure Bonnie was only kidding.  Well, when I sent Dave a note explaining that I had taken his name, in vain, he sent one back to me...in the real mail!  USPS baby!

Knowing the level of my blogular obsession, Kristiana took a picture of his note and sent it to me as a text.  I was happy to say the least!  I have written to some fairly important people in my day and aside from Ray Orrock, who used to answer my letters in his newspaper column, this is the first time anyone has ever written back to me.  Happy as I am, as excited as I was, I promptly...lost the note.  The time it took me to read the note, read it again, double check the signature against one that is in a book my sister had him sign, and then misplace the note...took all of about forty five minutes.  I was upset!  I turned over the pile of papers where I last had it, I checked the kitchen table...twice, I even checked the freezer (you never know).  I was a little frantic.  I had it, in my hand, and then poof...gone.  I wanted to write this blog yesterday but wanted to quote it in my writing and I hadn't yet memorized it...I have now.  You see, not only did I find it but I took my own picture of it, I have it in our safe, and I have plans to have a replica tattooed over my heart.

I was a little disturbed by the fact that I found his note, and I am not making this up, under my pillow.  I can imagine that a rich and powerful man such as Mr. Barry would be able to have the resources needed to break into my house, obtain the note, and plant it under the pillow on my side of the bed.  That would be a funny joke that he and his minions would be able to laugh about for days!  I interrogated the kids, nothing.  I lovingly asked my wonderful bride.  "Seriously?  No."  I remembered that it was on my nightstand when I made the bed earlier...understandable, but not even remotely as funny.

His note was simple, elegant, and yet, to the point.  After years of getting paid to write this man is a wordsmith extraordinaire!  When this little scene is portrayed in the movie they make about my life, Kurt Russell will play me (Mr. Barry's note will be played by Mr. Barry's note) it will surely be the clincher in the Academy Award sweep. 
"Not a dry eye in the house!"  Washington Post.
"The raw emotion!  Breathtaking!"  New York Times
"Hey!  I thought Bonnie Hunt was supposed to be in this!"  Fremont Argus

Have I kept you all in a satisfactory yet not intolerable amount of suspense yet?  Hopefully, since it is winter time and, exactly on schedule, my fingers have started cracking at the tip and each keystroke is a new reason to cringe, flinch, and whimper. 

Mr. Barry's note said, and I quote, "Hey, Thanks.  Sincerely Dave Barry"  Anyone have a tissue?  I have a little something in my eye....nevermind...I think there's one under my pillow.