Thursday, April 29, 2010

Bonnie Hunt is my Celebrity Girlfriend!

Bonnie Hunt is my celebrity girlfriend! There it is. True confession time. It feels good to get that off my chest.



To clarify, Wikipedia defines a celebrity girlfriend as: Someone who you like to see in movies and on TV, but have no chance of ever meeting in person. Not to be confused with actually desiring or attempting a romantic relationship (see stalking).



Ok, true confession time (take two)...there is not a Wikipedia definition for this. I made it up. I do things like that.



Let me also explain, the smartest thing I have ever said was, "I do" and the best thing I've ever eaten is wedding cake. I certainly won the marriage lottery. Additionally, I try really hard to make sure that Sylvia feels the same way. I want her to come away from a "husband complaint session" (I know they exist) feeling great in comparison. I try to give her something to add to the jabs, back and forth, so every once in a while I "forget" to hit the automatic start button on the coffee maker the night before, after I set it up. And if you believe that is the only thing, I have an autographed first edition Bible I can sell you.

Let me also add that Sylvia has held Patrick Swayze and Kurt Russell over my head as her celebrity boyfriends for YEARS!! (and boy are her arms ... sorry, old joke)

Wikipedia defines celebrity boyfriend as: Someone who, if ever met in person, all other attachments and relationships wouldn't matter and running off to frolic on the beach forevermore would ensue(see scantily clad).

True conf...oh you get the idea.

I know there is a disparity in the definitions...It's a risk I am willing to take. But if you ever see me running and carrying Sylvia over my shoulder, fireman style, you'll know that I saw someone who looked like Kurt Russell walking toward us.

So, finally, I come to the point of this post. Yesterday I mentioned that Kristiana was mortified that I have a Twitter account. Let me tell you why. The Bonnie Hunt show has a bit where she "tweets" something, and if you are the first caller you win a prize. The world's best dog brusher, celebrity perfume, book of the week...whatever. Almost never wanted the prize, but it would have been great to talk to her. I would have told her that I thought she was very entertaining and that I appreciated her show being thoughtful and funny and respectful and not gossipy...all things that make other shows turn-offs for me. Anyway, that is the only reason why I opened a Twitter account. The problem is, I never got the things that she was sending even though I "followed" her alone. It's OK, I'm not hurt. Sniff.

So that's it. My final true confession. I only have an account to win a prize. I do not even know that I have it set up correctly. I tried to set it up on my new smart phone but the "App" that looked like it had all the parts I needed cost 99 cents! I mean there IS a limit!

And by the way, if this ever gets back to Bonnie Hunt...Let me just tell you, Bonnie, that Larry King and I LOVED you in Twister! KIDDING!

1 comment:

  1. Dude,
    When I began Twitter-ing, it seemed to keep forgetting my password...or was that ME forgetting the right password?
    Anyway, I just set it up on my SmartPhone for ZERO cents and it works! It's a miracle!
    Just tweet something! I went to all the trouble to follow you (see stalking) and what do I get?
    Bupkis! Which is also what I'll get if you finally tweet something!
    Bwaaahaaahaaahaaa!
    P.S. Don't tell anyone the phone is smarter than I am! Thanks! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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