She Said What?!

Who's that new girl?  Pia was the icon in the church nursery for years.  Now there was someone new?   She was exceptionally cute and I had a smallish crush on her from the first time I saw her.  I would wave and smile at her when I walked by the wall of windows.  I was always thrilled when she would smile and wave back.  And she did!  Every week!  The whole exchange took about 5 seconds.  Honestly, it was the highlight of each and every of my uneventful weeks. 

Occasionally, while I was teaching the kindergarten level Sunday school (imagine that) she would take one of the little ones out for a stroll and would pop into my classroom for visit.   She wanted to get to know me better.  I say this, now, because she told me that's what she was doing.  I, of course, (guy...clueless!) had no idea.  I seriously thought the kids in the nursery needed to stretch their legs...even though Sylvia was carrying them. (Have I mentioned in the last five minutes that I was/am pathetic?)  I had no idea that she was trying to talk to me...or to get me to talk to her.  I would get nervous whenever she came in.  I would turn beet red.  And after a while, she would take the little guy or girl back to the nursery to wait for the parents to get out of church.  As a side note...some of those little guys and girls now have little guys or girls of their own.  My kindergarteners too!

I found out (later) that when I would bring my mountain bike on the rack on top of my car she would try to think of a way to tell me that she also liked to ride bikes.  She never did.  I would change, in the bathroom, into my embarrassingly clingy bike outfit, it had an extra amount of padding in the seat, and then take off into the sun.  Never once did I say, "Hey, you like riding too?  Let's go for a ride."  Not once! 

I also found out (later) that she had wondered, aloud, if she should talk to me first.  Pia, the elderly matriarch of the nursery, would immediately say, "NO!  He is ze boy.  He should talk to you.!"  (Me, now, She said WHAT!?)  She had an awesome accent but, I think it may have been helpful if she had allowed Sylvia to come over to talk to me.  It was not my style (who am I kidding, I had no style...and very little now).  My friends would try to help me.  "TALK TO HER!"  Uh uh.  Not gonna happen.  What good comes from me turning red, feeling like passing out, and then running away making reference to some obscure fact that had nothing to do with anything!  None, that's what!  Besides, if I never talk to her then I can remain alone and then I can show my friends that I was meant to be alone...in a cave...with my Togo's sandwiches (hot #7 with mustard and lettuce in case you were wondering) and Dr Pepper.  See!!?

I even got a fortune cookie once when I went out to Chinese food with my roommate Craig.  I am sad to say that the actual slip of paper has been lost in numerous moves but the sentiment was, "Someone you know of, likes you."  At the restaurant I said, "Wouldn't it be great if it was Sylvia from the nursery at my church!"  Craig then said something like, "Maybe it is...talk to her!!"  He was always annoyingly accurate in what should be done and I was aggravatingly stubborn telling what I could do.  So there I was, not going to mention anything to anyone (especially not Sylvia) and me, with a fortune cookie slip under a magnet on the upper right hand corner of our fridge...mocking me.

I am sad to say that it went on like this for a while.  Actually it was quite a while.  Go ahead and guess how long.  No really, I'll wait.

Theme to Jeopardy here....

Did I mention that it was quite a while?  I meant to say that it was a ridiculously long time!

Jeopardy finishing up...doot doot dun!

7 years!  Yup, that's right, 7 years.  I am deliriously happy with how everything worked out, but I wouldn't recommend this strategy if I was writing a book on how to meet women.  (Although I might if that's what it would take to finally get published...kidding)  Yup, seven pathetic years (on my part).  Sylvia went on with her life of course and I had a fortune cookie paper on my fridge. 

So, unfortunately. this is also not "how we met" and I am afraid that for that you will need to keep tuning in.  Aren't I deceptively sneaky!  Come on!  Our anniversary isn't until Friday!  I feel that I should tell you, because I am having guilt over lying...not really.  In the Chinese restaurant with Craig, I never said, "Wouldn't it be great if it was Sylvia from the nursery at my church!"  I said, "Wouldn't it be great if it was that girl from the nursery at my church!"  Seven years and I never even knew her name!  True story!