Reader, I Am Your Father. (this one wouldn't work...mostly because my own kids don't even read my blog)
A Blog is Like a Box of Chocolates. (Oh yeah! This one is right up my alley. You never know where this blog is going...especially me...and I'm writing it!)
Let's Read it For Johnny! (I think this movie and quote may be too obscure. The Outsiders. No? Well I can tell you that my three friends from high school are laughing their heads off right now)
Frankly Reader, I don't give....(well that would be a nice choice wouldn't it! It's not good to alienate your readers. Telling them you don't care? Bad idea. Besides, how many people read blogs while walking down curving staircases? 6? 7 tops? Of course the number of people who read the blog while standing in a corn field is exactly one...the Slovenian farmer I was talking about...and he hasn't seen the movie! Come on Jeff, pull it together!)
Actually, I am beyond grateful that there are actually people who are willing to take time out of their busy days and read my little corner of the internet. Recently I added a feature onto my site that tells how many people visit it over time. The last time I looked there were 4,176 people who have visited my site. (Actually I hover over it like it's the light on the waffle maker!) People have stumbled onto my blog from all over the world and I am awed at this. Of course there is also a place that tells me the words people are "googling" when they click over to my sitcom website, and frankly, some of you should be ashamed of yourselves. I'm kidding of course but there was one time that someone searched..."she little naked" and they were directed to my blog. Way to go google! That's exactly the demographic I'm looking for...not! (I figured as long as I'm dragging out old movies to quote it'd be hilarious to drag out an old expression too...not!)
I probably haven't even met four thousand people in my life and there are 4000 looking at my site! I truly am blessed. Well ok, the counter doesn't really count the number of people...it counts the number of times people click on my site. It could be that someone is sitting there and clicking and exiting and clicking and exiting so it appears that more people are coming to my site, to build my self esteem. Come to think of it, I wondered why my mom wasn't at Christmas dinner. I have to say, it does feel nice when I look at the number and it has grown since the last time...fifteen minutes ago. Just a moment...just as I suspected, 4,191! Thanks Mom!
It isn't sophisticated enough (as far as I know) to tell me how long someone stays, it doesn't tell me if they like it or if they got mad and clicked away angrily when "she little naked" referred to how people feel when going through airport security. Every once in a while someone will write a comment to tell me what they were doing when they happened to find my blog, and that is very interesting! There was one person who had shingles on their esophagus like I did last month (memories...ouch!) and my kids still talk about the time that I read the comment from Ray Orrock's daughter. Apparently, I did a silly little happy dance when she said that her dad "would have liked it" and "you are a good writer." (Click Yes if you want to read about it)I keep telling the kids, when they ask for extravagant things like food and clothes, that it won't be a problem as soon as I am paid for what I am doing here, for free.
Now I am over here getting jazzed over a few thousand people visiting my site since April while others are simply amazing in terms of numbers visited. I held a "contest" recently where I essentially begged for comments and told people what to write. I got seven replies. I was thrilled! That by far was the most comments I had ever received on a post. I chose the winner and, even though the post office wouldn't allow me to insure my doodle for millions of dollars, I mailed the prize off to Canada! Sophie...here is the other part of your prize...I mentioned your name in a post. Let me know when the original artwork arrives...and when you have installed the brass lamps (plural) to shine down upon it. Or it could be just the right thickness to stick under the kitchen table leg to keep it from wobbling.
I recently entered a contest on Ree Drummond's website, The Pioneer Woman (I'm not going to include the link, most of you probably have it bookmarked already). It was a contest to win a printer, and all you had to do was tell what your favorite holiday recipe is. Well around here, holiday and fudge are as interlinked as Europeans and Nutella (I can't say 'peanut butter and jelly' we're very allergic to peanuts over here). So a friend, Faye, talked me into entering. She said that maybe Ree "the blogging queen" would read, and like, my blog...and then I'd be famous! Well I suppose so. In order to enter the contest I had to submit my link as a comment on her site. I think the contest had been going on for a month already and my comment was well over the fourteen thousandth. That many comments...on one section of her site...in a month...I'm going back to bed. With that many readers if she happened to read my comment, and then go to my site, and then comment about it on her site...then I'd be famous! Heck, she could even say something like, "I guess Jeff's site didn't suck too badly." and the number of readers here would quintuple! Simply amazing! If that happens, I'll have to have another contest! Keep your fingers crossed!
Now, to shift gears to a completely serious mode, I would like to tell you about a friend of mine whose daughter is having serious health issues. She and her husband have begun writing a blog about their experiences and what they, and their daughter Scarlett, are going through. I would gladly reset my number of "clicks" to zero if each one could be turned into a prayer for this sweet two month old girl. They have had a wonderful response, and the last time I talked to grandma, their site had gotten over seven thousand visitors in just under a week. Their site is http://brandiandchris.blogspot.com/ if you would like to get info, pray, and I think they are close to setting up a place for donations since they are having trouble with an insurance company. I am sure they would appreciate it. I thank you.
And because I think that laughter has magical healing powers...I am going to try to please everybody! For the person who searched "she little naked"...
...this kitten is clearly not wearing any clothes!
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