So Now We Know

I've heard loads of people say that they could use more hours in the day.  As a teacher I know that it could be a Gregorian chant coming from schools around report card time.  "I need more time....ohmmmm.  I need more time....ohmmmm."  It would be an interesting anthropological study to be able to actually give people extra time, to see how they used it.  It is often said, by imaginary people in my fake research staff, that if people were given extra time they would use it to do something that was very important to them.  This morning I have been given an extra hour and I am using it to write.  So now we know.

This morning is the morning that we in most of the United States turn our clocks back one hour at 2:00 A.M.  and then leave them an hour back until six months from now when we turn them an hour ahead.  The saying pertaining to the seasons and the hands of the clock, for the uninitiated, is 'Spring forward and Fall back'.  As a public service message I would like to tell you that it is now really 5:54 in the morning but it feels like 6:54!  I would also like to say, "You have an extra hour to sleep so go back to bed!"  Well, unless you are reading my blog after it has been turned into book form (and paid dearly for the privilege of owning one of the leather bound editions...thank you) then I say, "You paid big bucks for this book!  What is it doing in the bathroom?! I am NOT signing that now!  (...and light a candle for crying out loud! phew!)"

Do not ask me why we Americans do this weird, arbitrary, apparently random thing with the clocks, but we do.  I know, from paying attention to National Treasure movies, that Benjamin Franklin was the first to suggest it.  But he also wanted the turkey to be the national bird so we know that he was a loony!  I know it had something to do with saving energy at one point because if it is brighter longer then you don't have to use lights at night.  Yes!!  Of course when you get up in the middle of the night to start your day and it is pitch black, then you need to use the lights in the morning.  D'oh!  I know that there are parts of the country that don't participate in this odd ritual.  My dad is in one of those places now.  The first few minutes of my phone calls to him always deal with the time issue and is it too late or too early to be calling.  "Sorry Dad, I lost my slide rule.  What time is it there?"  Interesting side note...When my dad was a teenager a sweet young lass had caught his fancy.  (Yes, my dad grew up in Scotland during the 1700's)  Well he and his intended date set it up that he would pick her up at 6:00.  He showed up at 5:59 and was greeted by slurs and slams!  Apparently my dad lived in part of Indiana that didn't feel the need to do something moronic like change clocks twice a year and the girl lived across the border in obedient Kentucky.  So she thought he was an hour late.  She would hear none of his excuses.  She didn't care about the time difference.  She was not even very fond of Benjamin Franklin!!  She slammed the door and never spoke to him again.  (Really, what do I care?  She wasn't my mom but I thought the story was funny)

There are also those who think that it came about, "For the farmers."  The people who think that have never worked on a farm.  Animals don't really care if it is light or dark and they especially aren't concerned that you want to sleep in an extra hour simply because the newspaper headline says, "FALL BACK!"  They want to be fed, milked, moved, and generally tended to.  When the clock changes that just means that farmers get up an hour earlier.

It is actually due to an animal that I am up now.  Fudge, the wonder dog, has a routine that usually works out well for me.  Every morning just before my alarm goes off Fudge comes and nudges me.  It is his time to, ahem, use the facilities (he doesn't light a candle either).  I feed him.  I go back to the room.  I turn off the alarm.  I start to get ready.  Nice, right?  And then it comes to fall.  Fudge, even though I have bought him several nice watches, refuses to let me sleep in!  So here I sit.  Using my 'extra' time to write.

And now, I would like to leave you with one of my favorite daylight savings stories.  It was about thirty years ago and we had a fairly young and relatively new associate pastor at our church.  I was a teenager so I squeezed every last ounce of sleep out of the morning and my magical extra hour.  When I drove into the church parking lot I noticed that the new-ish pastor was by the door hugging everyone she greeted.  She was always very emotional and very demonstrative but something about this morning was different.  Everyone who walked by got a special greeting like she had been away on a long trip...and yet I had seen her the week before.  After church, as I was talking to her, I said something about feeling a little extra rested this morning and how I appreciate this time change WAY more than when we go the other way.  She leaned in close and said, "I need to confess something to you.  I forgot to change my clock this morning so I got up and got ready an hour early.  When I got here and there was nobody here I thought that the Rapture had happened and everyone else was called to be with Jesus and I didn't make it for some reason!  I was so glad when I finally realized that it was just the time change that I missed!"

OK, everyone...get up and ready for church!  Be early...but not too early!