I have inadvertently tortured many of my Facebook friends for the last year or so. Which is so unlike me. I would much rather torture people advertently (which is actually a word...I hate when that happens). Way back in January, the 23rd to be exact, I simply posted a percentage "0.3%". I have been updating this ever increasing percentage throughout the year and only yesterday, the day before Thanksgiving, I reached 100%! What started out as a means to hold myself accountable has turned into something fun. But I am done now and I will keep you in suspense no longer. I have read 100% of the Bible, via the 'Bible' application on my Android smart phone! There it is. The secret is out. I hope I haven't disappointed you all.
When I downloaded the YouVersion Bible on the Droid I had no plan in mind. I merely wanted to see what it was. While exploring, I found out that it had notes, more versions and languages than I could even begin to explain, and a little thing called "plans". I clicked on it and found that there were quite a few plans. I could have chosen to read through the New Testament in a month, the Old Testament in two years, the Psalms and Proverbs in 372 days, or the whole Bible in a year. I chose the latter and began, on January 23rd, and much to my surprise (many things surprise me when it comes to technology) after I read the passages for the day, the app said, "You have completed 0.3%!" Seriously!? I just read for twenty minutes! All I made it was a lousy 0.3%!? It struck me as funny (but honestly there isn't much that doesn't) and I thought, if I am going to make this all the way through I am going to need an accountability partner. So I posted the percentage and the torture began. I had decided to post about every ten percent (so I wouldn't annoy people with daily increases) but lately I have been posting fractional increases! I had no idea that I would have so many unwitting partners in my move to stay focused, but there you are. Thank you all for keeping me on track. I have had fun...most of the time.
There were some interesting things that happened along the way. I was surprised to find out, remember me...untechnology man...that the Bible app would not work when I had no coverage for 3G. Whatever the heck a G is. But due to proper advertising on the part of Verizon, when I get my next spare three hundred dollars (somewhere around the middle of the next century at the rate I am going) I will purchase a new Droid that has 4G! I still don't understand what a G is but I know I need four of them...but I digress. I went away for the night to a place with no coverage and I couldn't do my reading for the day. I was disappointed but it taught me a lesson. When I took a group of junior high kids from our church to snow camp I planned ahead and wrote out the passages that I would be missing so I could read it the old fashioned way. There is a group of about six boys who have known what this was all about and they haven't said a word! (Great job keeping the secret guys!) When we traveled away for a week to the Ganado mission in Arizona I wasn't so lucky and I fell behind, but I wasn't trying to win a race so I forgave myself, picked it up where I left off, and forged ahead.
For the most part I would read first thing in the morning when Fudge would nudge me to say that it was time to be fed, get some water, and do his business. I was up before anyone else, quiet time, I read. On more than one occasion I would jump up to take care of Fudge and it would be pitch black in the house. We have shutters that make it midnight dark whenever we want. Instead of fumbling and tripping my way to the hallway I would simply turn my phone around and use the light from the Bible App to guide me on my way. It struck me, when this happened, that the Bible was guiding my way both figuratively and literally!
When I was having such a terrible year last year in school I had decided to spend some of my before school time reading in the classroom. I found that I could squeeze in an extra day's reading after I dropped Kristiana off at choir but before my little cherubs (with dirty faces) came in. On one particularly difficult morning where I was seriously considering becoming a truck driver, pizza delivery guy, oral surgeon...whatever!...it was obvious to me that I wasn't supposed to be a teacher. I decided to read the passage out loud in the classroom. I wanted the echo of positive words in the room to combat the difficulty that was coming. So I started reading out loud and the passage was all about students obeying their teacher! I sent the passage to Sylvia in a text, I tried to bookmark it in my phone, and subsequently lost all record of it. But it was there I swear! If anyone has the passage I am thinking about I would love to know. I would like to embroider it on a plaque in the room.
While not explaining what all of the percentages have been about I have had all sorts of people offering guesses. When the percentage was low, people guessed about my level of sanity. When it got high, people guessed about my level of insanity! When it was in the teens I even had one dear friend suggest that she hoped it wasn't my percentage of body fat! Since it was increasing steadily I would hope not. Little did she know that I have never had body fat in the teens! My DNA hovers around the 27% range. (disclaimer...I have no idea what my body fat percentage is. 27 just seemed like a humorous number. Sort of like kumquat is a humorous fruit...but I digress) Well the body fat guesses seemed to be the fallback position for everyone. Thanks a lot AnnMarie! (still love you! but I can't get over there to give you a hug since my friends think I am a big tub of goo with no bone structure at all, and I would roll over and crush you and your 3.2%!)
Some of the more interesting guesses have been:
"Body fat?" (138 times)
"Your level of sanity?"
"Your level of insanity?"
"The percentage of days left in the year?"
"The percentage of days left before your birthday?"
"The percentage of your blood that you have donated?"
"The amount of school days you have before you snap and start smacking kids?"
More recently when people were getting frustrated about the ever increasing phantom percentages:
"The level of disappointment we will have when you explain?"
"The chances the (insert your least favorite team) choke in the big game?"
"The percentage you have completed on your next blog?"
Some people have just made comments and skipped guessing altogether:
"I want to know what this is!"
"Tell us!"
"Will you just tell me what the freakin' percentage thing is!!!!!!!" (which I suppose is technically a question but I don't think Anne meant it that way.) *I also don't think I am going to befriend any more people named Ann(e).
Well there it is. I read through 100% of the Bible. Nothing crazy. I committed to do it and I did it. I learned a lot and it was remarkable how often the passage for the day applied to the day I had. I liked reading the Bible every day and I will have to look through the plans to see which one I will choose next. Who knows, maybe I will write about days that stick out as I go. I hope that you are not disappointed with me and my percentages. I really didn't start out to cause anyone any stress. I was actually surprised to see how many people even paid attention at all. Thanks!
And in conclusion I would like to end with my, without a doubt, very favorite comment on Facebook from my son, Jacob. On a day when the general theme of the guesses was 'tease Jeff in a mean way', Jake, who has known since I explained it to the junior high boys in the freezing cold cabin at Hume Lake last year, said:
"I know what it is about and when you people find out you are going to be very proud of him!"
Thanks Jake, that means a lot.
When I downloaded the YouVersion Bible on the Droid I had no plan in mind. I merely wanted to see what it was. While exploring, I found out that it had notes, more versions and languages than I could even begin to explain, and a little thing called "plans". I clicked on it and found that there were quite a few plans. I could have chosen to read through the New Testament in a month, the Old Testament in two years, the Psalms and Proverbs in 372 days, or the whole Bible in a year. I chose the latter and began, on January 23rd, and much to my surprise (many things surprise me when it comes to technology) after I read the passages for the day, the app said, "You have completed 0.3%!" Seriously!? I just read for twenty minutes! All I made it was a lousy 0.3%!? It struck me as funny (but honestly there isn't much that doesn't) and I thought, if I am going to make this all the way through I am going to need an accountability partner. So I posted the percentage and the torture began. I had decided to post about every ten percent (so I wouldn't annoy people with daily increases) but lately I have been posting fractional increases! I had no idea that I would have so many unwitting partners in my move to stay focused, but there you are. Thank you all for keeping me on track. I have had fun...most of the time.
There were some interesting things that happened along the way. I was surprised to find out, remember me...untechnology man...that the Bible app would not work when I had no coverage for 3G. Whatever the heck a G is. But due to proper advertising on the part of Verizon, when I get my next spare three hundred dollars (somewhere around the middle of the next century at the rate I am going) I will purchase a new Droid that has 4G! I still don't understand what a G is but I know I need four of them...but I digress. I went away for the night to a place with no coverage and I couldn't do my reading for the day. I was disappointed but it taught me a lesson. When I took a group of junior high kids from our church to snow camp I planned ahead and wrote out the passages that I would be missing so I could read it the old fashioned way. There is a group of about six boys who have known what this was all about and they haven't said a word! (Great job keeping the secret guys!) When we traveled away for a week to the Ganado mission in Arizona I wasn't so lucky and I fell behind, but I wasn't trying to win a race so I forgave myself, picked it up where I left off, and forged ahead.
For the most part I would read first thing in the morning when Fudge would nudge me to say that it was time to be fed, get some water, and do his business. I was up before anyone else, quiet time, I read. On more than one occasion I would jump up to take care of Fudge and it would be pitch black in the house. We have shutters that make it midnight dark whenever we want. Instead of fumbling and tripping my way to the hallway I would simply turn my phone around and use the light from the Bible App to guide me on my way. It struck me, when this happened, that the Bible was guiding my way both figuratively and literally!
When I was having such a terrible year last year in school I had decided to spend some of my before school time reading in the classroom. I found that I could squeeze in an extra day's reading after I dropped Kristiana off at choir but before my little cherubs (with dirty faces) came in. On one particularly difficult morning where I was seriously considering becoming a truck driver, pizza delivery guy, oral surgeon...whatever!...it was obvious to me that I wasn't supposed to be a teacher. I decided to read the passage out loud in the classroom. I wanted the echo of positive words in the room to combat the difficulty that was coming. So I started reading out loud and the passage was all about students obeying their teacher! I sent the passage to Sylvia in a text, I tried to bookmark it in my phone, and subsequently lost all record of it. But it was there I swear! If anyone has the passage I am thinking about I would love to know. I would like to embroider it on a plaque in the room.
While not explaining what all of the percentages have been about I have had all sorts of people offering guesses. When the percentage was low, people guessed about my level of sanity. When it got high, people guessed about my level of insanity! When it was in the teens I even had one dear friend suggest that she hoped it wasn't my percentage of body fat! Since it was increasing steadily I would hope not. Little did she know that I have never had body fat in the teens! My DNA hovers around the 27% range. (disclaimer...I have no idea what my body fat percentage is. 27 just seemed like a humorous number. Sort of like kumquat is a humorous fruit...but I digress) Well the body fat guesses seemed to be the fallback position for everyone. Thanks a lot AnnMarie! (still love you! but I can't get over there to give you a hug since my friends think I am a big tub of goo with no bone structure at all, and I would roll over and crush you and your 3.2%!)
Some of the more interesting guesses have been:
"Body fat?" (138 times)
"Your level of sanity?"
"Your level of insanity?"
"The percentage of days left in the year?"
"The percentage of days left before your birthday?"
"The percentage of your blood that you have donated?"
"The amount of school days you have before you snap and start smacking kids?"
More recently when people were getting frustrated about the ever increasing phantom percentages:
"The level of disappointment we will have when you explain?"
"The chances the (insert your least favorite team) choke in the big game?"
"The percentage you have completed on your next blog?"
Some people have just made comments and skipped guessing altogether:
"I want to know what this is!"
"Tell us!"
"Will you just tell me what the freakin' percentage thing is!!!!!!!" (which I suppose is technically a question but I don't think Anne meant it that way.) *I also don't think I am going to befriend any more people named Ann(e).
Well there it is. I read through 100% of the Bible. Nothing crazy. I committed to do it and I did it. I learned a lot and it was remarkable how often the passage for the day applied to the day I had. I liked reading the Bible every day and I will have to look through the plans to see which one I will choose next. Who knows, maybe I will write about days that stick out as I go. I hope that you are not disappointed with me and my percentages. I really didn't start out to cause anyone any stress. I was actually surprised to see how many people even paid attention at all. Thanks!
And in conclusion I would like to end with my, without a doubt, very favorite comment on Facebook from my son, Jacob. On a day when the general theme of the guesses was 'tease Jeff in a mean way', Jake, who has known since I explained it to the junior high boys in the freezing cold cabin at Hume Lake last year, said:
"I know what it is about and when you people find out you are going to be very proud of him!"
Thanks Jake, that means a lot.
Super proud of you Jeff! What an awesome achievement! From one teacher to another, ' You did good!' From a sister to a brother, ' God is good!'
ReplyDeleteI was going to guess the days remaining in your life...I had two people I know die suddenly of cancer in the past year...but I dared not guess that one aloud! GLAD to finally find out it was something GOOD! Congrats! (I have read through the Bible in its entirety 3 times). What's your next challenge?
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