Torn

Since I have started writing a second blog it has been pretty obvious to me where I would write each blog post.  When I feel like writing a fake news story that no one would believe, it goes into Jeff's Gnus.  When I write about something that actually happened, it goes here.  Today I am torn.  I have something to write about that is 100% true, but I am fairly certain that a lot of people will think I am making it up.

I was teaching a special education class quite a few years ago and thought that the way to have a child's self esteem get a boost was to teach them a new skill and then move on until they got to grade level work.  I have never been in the camp that believed everyone deserves to feel good about themselves for merely converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.  If you are being mean to others, you should feel badly.  That does not, however, mean that I am not willing to work with you to help you stop being mean to others. 

At our school we had assemblies where groups or individuals would come and entertain and inform the students along the lines of personal responsibility and self-esteem.  Some were better than others at being informative or entertaining but one in particular was my least favorite in both respects.  I am not going to mention his name for two reasons.  One, because personal tastes vary and who am I to impugn someone's reputation by calling him out.  And two, what if his wife is the publisher of a newspaper who is very seriously thinking about letting me write my little column for them...for actual money! 

It was a feel good assembly and the entire school was in the auditorium.  The speaker/singer was up on the stage doing his best/worst corny jokes that seemed to be aimed at the teachers who were, I suppose, then going to get the students motivated.  In theory.  He had a motivational speech all set and he broke off the speaking portion to move into each next song...which were, conveniently, on sale at the back of the room.  He had several hand motions and body movements for the students to do during his songs and I do not know how to say this politely...He was bombing.  The movements were too convoluted for the younger kids and he didn't have enough of a rapport with the older kids for them to do it, so...El Stinko.  Then he did the old fallback move of elementary school performers.  He said, "If you don't know how to do it...look at your teachers."  Problem was, Human Version of Fozzie the Bear, that none of the teachers were doing it.  I guess he thought he could make someone do his silly little antics, or at least he was going to try. 

Now, I am a team player.  I have held gigantic snakes.  I have dressed in ridiculous costumes...as a female!  I dressed as Ryan Seacrest and hosted our school's version of American Idol.  I tried to high-kick a bowl off of my toe up to my head...a few days after a 'V'ery personal operation!  I have even allowed the 6th grade winner of a contest to smack me in the face with a pie!  I am no stranger to acting a fool for the good of the school.  But in this particular instance I was with the students.  He hadn't built up a rapport with me either and I hadn't payed enough attention to know any of the hand movements.  I was a statue and I just wanted it to be over.

Then, mercifully, the song ended and he announced that he had only one more.  I clapped.  (I couldn't help myself)  But before he was going to play his last song..."and it looks like all of my CD's are still available at the back of the room teachers"... he wanted to leave us with this final thought.  My only regret is that I didn't get it on tape.

"Boys and girls.  You are all wonderful.  You are all individuals and you should be proud of all your differences.  No one should tell you what to do and if they do try to tell you what to do...just ignore them and be your own person!  If your friend is doing something that you don't want to do.  Don't do it!  I cannot say it enough.  Be your own person!  Don't be a follower!  Don't just do what someone tells you to do!"

  And I swear I am not making up what he said next.  "Now follow me and do what I do!"

And he began to sing his song while trying to get everyone to do his hand motions.  Well he must have had some sort of mystical power that I didn't know about because the entire auditorium was taking him at his word and no one was being a follower.  Five hundred and fifty terra cotta students from the BorRing Dynasty.  I was never so proud of my students!  When we got back to the classroom (minus a CD...which would have been available at the back) I praised the heck out of my compliant/non compliant students!  I think they handled it very well!