I Crack Myself Up

Sylvia, my lovely and supportive wife (in case you are reading my blog for the first time), could conservatively spend a third of her day telling people, "Don't laugh.  It only encourages him."  Luckily, she doesn't, so people are "encouraging" me a large part of my day.  It doesn't take much.  I do appreciate the occasional guffaw, chortles are good, but I can get by with an occasional upturned side of the mouth from a teenage girl who is too cool to admit that I can be kinda funny.  I love when I get comments here on the blog site but honestly, especially lately, the comments have dried up a bit and I have discovered that it is ok.  Why?  Because apparently, I crack myself up!

I am that annoying guy who will laugh at his own jokes even when other people are wondering if I should be committed.  (that happens a lot)  I should wear my pretend blue tooth everywhere so people think I am talking to someone else.  I once offered the suggestion that if you were wearing your earpiece and someone said something stupid you could shout, "You are so full of crap!" and get away with it by shaking your head and pointing at your bluetooth.  It seems that people are on their phones a lot near me.  But I digress...

I was at a gathering with some old friends the other day and I was talking about how I am loving writing in the blogs and, most importantly, people are telling me that I am "kinda funny" so I keep doing it.  A little while after that, another friend came over and said, "Jeff, you are so funny!"  (I paid him his five dollars)  Then he said, "Some people think like this."  And he held his hand up like he was going to pat a six year old on the head.  "Some people think like this."  And he raised his hand like he was showing the six year old that he had had it up to here!  And then he said, "Jeff thinks like this."  And he swooped his hand around until it looked like he was hugging an invisible ostrich.  Everybody laughed, I did the inside version of the happy dance, and Sylvia said, "Don't laugh it only encourages him." (not really)  All of this just echoes what my teachers have been telling my mom for years.  My mom came home from a parent teacher conference and said that the teacher told her, "Jeff's brain just doesn't work the same way as other kids."  She took that, and portrayed it to me, as a compliment, and the rest is history.

I think my sense of humor is rubbing off on my kids though.  Yesterday, on our way to church, Kristiana let me use her chapstick.  "It'll make you smell like vanilla." she warned.  "No problem.  I like vanilla."  Then Jake said, "Wouldn't it be funny if Mr. Babyak came up to you and said, Mmm, vanilla."  I just about drove into a parked car, laughing.  After church, as we walked out, sure enough, Mr. Babyak walked over and said, "Mmm, vanilla."  Obviously, Jake got the message to Mr. B that he could make me crack up if he just said those two words.  He did.  I did.  I love my family and the people I hang out with.  Is it any wonder that I continue to have things to write about!

I really hope that it isn't sounding that I am conceited or overconfident or full of self esteem.  Let me let you in on a little secret...people who try to make others laugh are hiding the fact that they have low self esteem...shh...Don't tell.  In most areas I feel unsure, shy, awkward, etc...  If I can make you smile then I know I at least am not annoying you with boring details about the average air speed velocity of an unladen swallow.  (see, I am doing it again!  Monty Python in the house!) Get me behind a keyboard and I come alive and most importantly, I can go back and re-write something stupid that I have written, before I put it out there for everyone to see.  Apple core, underwear, rubber band, fiddle faddle, fishnet tattoo and Tigger too....  See, you don't know it but I had written a string of nonsense words and phrases and then I will remember to delete them before I send this to the web!  It's a perfect system...unless I forget.  No, I won't forget.

I suppose I should be feeling the pressure involved in trying to be funny while having people expect me to be funny.  Maybe I am just not smart enough to know that it should be hard.  The way I see it is that I have been given a gift and I want to use it as much as possible.  It makes me happy.  And if it makes you happy then I have done my job.  I really appreciate all of the people who have come up to me to say that they are enjoying reading my writing.  I have to admit that I am continually shocked by the diverse group of people who track me down to say they read my blog.  In one week I had a teenager and a sexagenarian tell me, through family members, that I was the "funniest person on the planet".  No pressure there!  Not saying I disagree (see there, I have to pretend to be confident.  It's funnier that way.) but it does make me stop and think about what the heck I am going to write. 

I just wanted to say thank you for all the "encouragement" that you all have shown me.  Now if you would kindly tell your local newspaper, book publisher, or web millionaire that I am ready to write for them (for a different kind of "encouragement" wink wink) I would really appreciate it.  Thanks again.