Par...Tay!! (Six Year Old Style)

It was Lucy's birthday yesterday.  She was six, not six hundred, but I always get those two confused.  I like teaching kindergarten because when I tell them that I, too, am six because 'I am in kindergarten' they say, "NO!  You are the teacher.  You are sixteen!"  Yup, I am the sixteen year old with gray hair. 

It was a fairly typical day for this year, which meant that I was ready for a nap at about eleven, and I decided to have the parent-provided cupcake party for Lucy at the very end of the day.  I was testing for report cards (with the help of my awesome wife and daughter) and I didn't want thirty little five and six year olds running around like hyperactive hummingbirds on sugar highs.  We made it to the end of the day and parents started to come get their kids.  It can get a little chaotic but I always want to match each kid face with parent face just so I can sleep at night (or afternoon depending on the day).  It gets a little more crazy when a parent wants to talk to me.  It's a little manic when there are two who want to talk to you.  It gets downright silly when a parent brings his daughter a large bouquet of balloons for her sixth birthday.  Yesterday was that day.

All the kids had been picked up and I was able to talk to a parent about something that had happened with her son Mike in class.  I noticed that when she came up to my door she had a little gift bag but she didn't hand it to me.  (Drat!  I was really hoping that the 'DROID Charge' would be the teacher appreciation gift of the season.)  Alas.  (Oh well, Father's day is coming.  hint hint kids)  Cupcake and Balloon Dad took all of her things, shook my hand, and walked to their car. 

Sylvia and Kristiana left so their whole day wasn't spent taking care of me (even though Father's day is coming up).  I talked to the two parents, one at a time, and then shut my door to finally eat my lunch.  About fifteen minutes into my leftovers, the classroom phone rang.  "Jeff, there is a parent in the office who would like to talk to you.  Apparently Lucy's dad took a gift bag that wasn't for her." 

"I'll be right there."

In the office mom talked to me in hushed tones.  She told me that as she was talking to me she put down the gift bag.  She had brought it for a teacher who worked with her other son because she had announced her retirement.  In the confusion of parents, kids, balloons, extra cupcakes, and gift bags her son Mike had started a chain of events based on assumptions.  In his five year old mind he had connected the dots perfectly!  There is a girl who passed out cupcakes and juice.  There was a dad who brought balloons.  It looked like someone had set off an explosive charge in a tub of frosting.  Mike's no dummy.  Lucy had a birthday.  Then he thought, mom brought a gift bag.  I know what happens with those.  This isn't my first rodeo (well maybe it was his first rodeo but he had several birthdays under his belt)  He took the initiative...he handed the gift bag to Lucy's dad.  And Dad, thinking that someone had brought his daughter a gift, accepted the bag.  And then everyone left.

Mike's mom without their gift bag.  Lucy's dad with an extra.  And me with an uncomfortable phone call to make.  I'm not too much for confrontation.  Not even silly circumstances and misunderstandings confrontation.  And I would much rather talk to people face to face than on the telephone so imagine my discomfort as I was elected to call and explain that a present that was given to him for his daughter was actually for someone else and would he kindly, heh heh, return it.  Please.  Thank you.

In all of this I wish I could have been there in the car when Lucy's dad reached into the gift bag and wondered why on Earth someone would give a bottle of champagne to his little girl on her sixth birthday!  I love my job!



That's right.  I broke my own rule!  I wrote about something that happened at school...yesterday!  I'll let you in on my criteria for writing about current classroom events, lest you think I have lost my moral compass. (and please...don't make me say 'lest' again)  First, the parents involved are very nice.  Second, nobody involved meant any harm in any way.  Third, I laughed my tuckus off.  Fourth, Lucy's dad may write a blog and I want to beat him to the punch.  And most importantly, neither of the parents have mentioned that they are lawyers.  I did not, however, use their real names...just in case.