Paid? Me?

April 18th, 2010.  A day that will live in...infamy?  The day I started writing my blog.  The day I pressed the "publish post" button for the first time and got a little anxious about what would happen next.  I, of course, had the far off dream of being rich and famous and being able to travel the globe while "motor" home-schooling our children.  In the short term I was hopeful that someone, somewhere, would read my odd ramblings and send me greetings from afar.  In the very short term I was hopeful that there wasn't some sort of fee that would be involved in the publishing of a free blog.  Well, meeting short term goals is good.  Right?

There are indeed no fees involved in the writing of this blog.  Unless you are an IRS agent and then I totally remodeled the front of our house to make it into a home office.  The cost was astronomical...and all of the leftover supplies and materials we donated to several local charities whose records have all mysteriously disappeared.  But I digress...

I have made several steps in the blog writing process.  I have gone from the initial hope and excitement to more realism but I am still excitable.  Not quite as much as an over-caffeinated chihuahua but I can get a little silly at times.  I remember the day that I ventured into the tabs along the top of this website.  I mean what were these things that I never even really noticed before?  Comments?  Settings?  Design?  Stats?  I have to say that I was pleased when I figured out that people in other countries were clicking onto the site.  (Pleased will be defined as: jumping and running around the house yelling, "Germany, Poland, Canada, Slovenia!" over and over again.)  It was a little thrilling (frightening) for the kids but they are resilient, right?

In writing I also wanted to make a statement about the human condition and its tendency toward the blurring of geo-political boundaries in an existential co-mingling of ... Who am I trying to kid...I wanted to write about my whacked out family, friends, and the occasional weird sign they hang in Safeway.

When I started writing I thought it would be really cool to be interviewed by Bonnie Hunt.  I have already declared her as my "celebrity girlfriend" so you have to understand that there was an ulterior motive involved.  But additionally I think that she was just about the only talk show I had a shot of getting on.  Leno would have made fun of the fact that I was a teacher and wasn't good at geography.  Kimmel would have made a joke about hitting on my wife. (understandable)  Letterman would have made a joke about hitting on my daughter. (eww)  Miss Hunt would have seen me, regular guy, teaches kindergarten, sister who's a nurse, just trying to make people smile...for free...that is the type of person she had on her show.  I miss it.  And that is one goal that shall not be met. 

I also went from saying, "It's silly but you could check out my writing." to "You think that was funny?  You should read my blog!"  I actually wrote myself out of conversations.  I would be talking to a friend and begin a story only to have them say, "Yeah, I read all about that."  Which, unfortunately for me, meant that I had nothing more to say and usually ended up talking about how the Bears were doing.  Not the team, the animals in Jellystone...I have an affinity for Yogi and Boo Boo.

But ultimately I was hoping that my little corner of the internet might net me a profit and maybe even get picked up into a newspaper.  And while I have not heard anything from the Times, the Post, or the Argus (our local paper where it was good enough for Ray Orrock so it would be good enough for me) so I have nothing more than to hope for the best in the money department.  I should be completely honest and say that I hadn't heard from the newspapers mostly because I hadn't contacted them, ever.  And this is when I tell you that I have made it to achieve one of my goals.  I have just received a letter, in the real mail, that asked me for information regarding how to send me my first check resulting from the blog.  I have always said that I would not call myself an author until I got paid to write...I may just be able to do that soon.  Of course there are those who say that in order to consider yourself being paid as an author you should be able to make a living at it.  The best I can figure is that I will be getting a check for approximately $9.23 after only ten months of writing.  I'm not sure I can make stretch that enough to live on but it will make for an interesting decoration to hang on the wall.  My first check!  Well it'll be a copy of my first check.  I'm cashing that sucker as soon as it arrives.  Papa wants to go to the movies!

My supportive family has been helping me along with my dream.  They allow me to zone away while I write and I try to only do that while they are otherwise engaged.  They provide me with endless good humor and plenty of material to write about (some of which has self-imposed statutes of limitations so keep reading for years and I can write about the kids when they move out)  My sister and my dad have even gotten me books that deal with the subject of writing.  Dad got me one about writing fiction.  Publishing ideas.  Sis got me one that was essentially, "How to make money with your blog."  Cool!  Problem is, when I opened the book it said something like, "Step one:  Have a point."...  Crap...I guess I can try again tomorrow.