Our New Camera(s)

Before I begin this post let me preface it by explaining that I love words.  I try to choose words that have meaning and will sometimes evoke emotions.  I also understand the importance of words and the deep meanings that are attached to them.  For this reason I rarely say that I "love" things.  I enjoy ice cream but I love my family.  I take writing seriously and have been forced to wait and wait (and wait) at certain points in my blog writing until just the right word comes to mind.  I do not take words, or their meanings, lightly.

Having said that...I hate mimes! 

I was not reminded of this until recently when discussing what to do with visitors from Germany, but I have to tell you...it is true.  Mimes are not my favorite.  I have some personal experience with mimes.  I do not have the sort of personal experience that our friend Yvonne has.  She, at a party once, stated, "I have seen Marcel Marceau naked."  (she was a costumer and was in the process of changing him for his performance on stage...come on people stay out of the gutter)  As I was saying, I do not have this sort of intimate encounter with them, but I was a witness to my teacher, Miss Valero, getting shot in the head by an invisible arrow at the tender age of ten.  In San Francisco, on a field trip, the couple Shields and Yarnell stopped by our class eating lunch and attacked her.  I think they should have practiced their trick many more times before taking it to the street.  He completely missed the invisible apple on her head and hit her square in the ear with the invisible arrow.  She made a complete recovery but her closest friends would say that she was never quite the same.

I did not always feel this way about these silent performers.  I have to admit that mimes have their moments of entertainment.  Once they start thinking outside the invisible box, they can be funny.  I used to watch, and laugh at, the Shields and Yarnell show on TV (but that was before my teacher was attacked). I laughed until I cried as my friends Craig and Lorna told the story about the time they were walking to their seats in a crowded theater.  A mime switched places with Lorna and walked along behind Craig holding his hand and making funny faces that the audience thought was hilarious but left poor Craig wondering what he was missing.  I wish I could have been there to see that mime, but now that I think about it I think it was technically a Charlie Chaplin impersonator so he was not a mime...but I digress.    

I have to tell you that I would not have pulled out the "h" word to describe my feelings about mimes until something happened to me personally.  And that is the story I would like to tell you today.

Sylvia and I had just purchased a new camera.  It wasn't technically "new" but it was the first digital camera that I had owned and it was more expensive than we probably should have afforded but it was a good deal so we went for it.  The mom of one of my students was becoming more serious about her photography and had an older model camera that she was willing to part with.  I could tell that Ellen really liked the camera and I could tell that it was bittersweet that she was giving this camera up, even with the prospect of a new one on the horizon.  It was awesome!  It was a gadget guy's dream.  I spent the first half hour explaining to Sylvia that we could do all sorts of photographical (I'm sure it's a word) tricks with it while she just shook her head and complained, "Great, now we will have all of these pictures and none of them will get printed onto actual paper."  (as an aside, It is really scary how accurate Sylvia is about things like this)

The school year ended, our vacation began, and we ended up in Texas visiting an old friend of Sylvia's mom who lost her during the war and was kept separate by his mother who was hiding letters...but I don't have time to write about that right now.  Someone remind me later.  OK, moving on.

In Texas we decided to go to Sea World.  The kids were thrilled.  Sylvia and I were tired.  And I was snapping pictures like nobody's business.  I kept telling Sylvia, "I can take all I want because I can just delete the ones that look terrible!"  (she was less than impressed)  I, being exceedingly cheap in addition to overly cautious, went nowhere near the "splash zone" with my new toy, in the watery arenas.  In the killer whale we sat so far up in the stands the kids asked if we were watching penguins being ridden by ants.  "No honey, that's a person on a killer whale!  It's really big.  Your dad is just a fraidy cat and doesn't want to sit closer to the show." 

It worked out well until we went to the sea lion show.  I was talked into sitting one row behind the splash zone.  I put a lot of faith into that red line painted on the ground and its ability to keep water from coming past it.  We got there early and I wrapped the camera in my jacket, a shirt, and then put my waterproof hat over the top and sat with the backpack on my lap...just in case.  We got to the show early to get these awesome seats and just when we had resigned ourselves to sitting and trying to entertain the kids for the fifteen minutes that we were waiting...enter the mime.  He came into the audience and was playing with some of the people who were there early.  He pretended to fall into the water.  He played like he was going to splash people...Oooh!  Ahhh!  And then on his last "pretend splash" he really dipped into the water and sprayed the crowd.  We were in the crowd.  We were safe.  Kristiana's popcorn was not.  It fell victim to enough water to make her cry and that bothered the man in front of us. 

He wasn't upset that she was loud.  He was upset that she was upset.  He was a playful man and wanted to get justice from the mime so he got his attention.  If you are ever in this situation and do not want to be the butt of many many water related jokes...do not get the mime's attention!  The mime kept picking on the guy that was in front of me...and my new, expensive, cared for, camera!  The mime splashed playfully.  Guy in front...wet.  Me...dry.  The guy in front of us didn't let up.  The mime sprayed him with a heavy duty squirt gun.  Guy wet.  Me dry.  Still the banter went on.  The mime crossed the line at some point and while still being playful he really doused this poor guy.  Only a few drops on backpack in my lap.  We're still fine.  But then as the mime was waving his good byes and walking back to behind the stage the man in front of us jumped up, grabbed the mime, and started walking him toward the edge of the pool.  He played like he was going to drop him in...but didn't.  The crowd roared with laughter and the mime walked off a little shaken from his playful persona but still we were ready for the show.  The one with the animals that were supposed to be wet.

The show happened.  Yada yada yada. We laughed.  We cried.  It was the highlight of our day.  Ok. 

The important thing to me was that the water very respectfully stayed behind the painted limit line except for a few stray drops here and there.  I, and my very well protected camera, could live with a drop or two.  Daddy is a happy guy.  Over the loud speaker, "THANK YOU FOR COMING!  WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR SHOW!  PLEASE ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR DAY HERE AT SEA WORLD!  MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ALL YOUR BELONGINGS...ESPECIALLY THE VERY NERVOUS GUY WHO IS SITTING WITH THE BACKPACK ON HIS LAP ONE ROW BEHIND THE SPLASH ZONE

Ok, so the last part they didn't say, but they could have.  We started to gather kids, stuff, wet bags of popcorn, said goodbye to the guy in front of us as he and his wife started gathering their things, and then I began the process of unpacking the camera so it didn't fall to the ground when I stood up.  I showed it to Sylvia as if to say, "Lo!  I am the protector of the stuff!  I have done my duty!  The camera is dry!  Praise me!"

Then, in the midst of my revelry, people screamed, even more laughed, and I had no clue what was going on.  What I couldn't see was the I-can-dish-it-out-but-can't-take-it mime had snuck back out to the front of the audience and was slowly sneaking his way up toward the guy who picked him up and pretended to throw him into the pool...also known as the guy in front of me.  Guy in front of me was closer.  He saw the mime.  He ducked.  I didn't.  The entire salty contents of the bucket the mime was dumping landed smack dab on me...and my new paperweight.  I looked down in enough time to see the LCD display on the top of the camera show what looked to be Asian language characters (I have researched and found out that it actually spelled out "good bye cruel world" in Japanese) and then it was gone.  My new Nikon Cool Pix was no more.  If you look carefully in the manual for most digital cameras it says something like water and cameras do not mix.  Salt water and cameras are mortal enemies.  Can someone please play Taps for me.  I am sorry to break it to you this way, Ellen. The camera you left in my care did not live to see its next birthday.  I am sorry.

We walked up to the customer dis-service counter and were told that we knew the risks involved with bringing a camera to a place known for splashing people and they gave us a disposable waterproof camera with 18 prints on it.  "Look honey!  Film!  We have to get these printed!"  (Sylvia was not amused)  We then explained that Sea World was not known for rogue mimes and we wanted to talk to someone a little higher up the chain of command.  She assured us that they were sorry.  She told me to go and purchase a new camera and send Sea World the receipt, we would be reimbursed.  She then said that she would be speaking to their mime about his behavior.  I explained that it would be a one sided conversation.  You know, mime.  We hold no ill will toward this place.  In fact when Sylvia's cousin and her family visit us from Germany this year, that is one of the places that we might visit.  I still like the place.  After they killed our camera we still stayed to squeeze every last moment of joy out of the remainder of the day at Sea World.  

Really!  We have 18 pictures to prove it.