Did you ever walk outside to take out the garbage in the still of the night, and clouds were just right so that the street was colored an eerie shade of ethereal blue? You naturally stop and look around to be sure there's nobody looking at you from behind a bush. You know the kind of night I'm talking about. If you saw a scene like this on a TV show you'd be saying, "Oooh, something's going to happen! Why does he just keep standing there? Doesn't he hear that suspenseful music?!" If you know this scene, then congratulations, 𝅘𝅥𝅯dun dun𝅘𝅥𝅯, you have probably watched as many crime shows as I have. (Although, probably not.)
Luckily Sylvia and I didn't experience any of this mysterious blue lighting on our recent getaway. In fact, we experienced no lighting at all! (Dun Dun!)
We plotted and planned and prioritized a week away in-between teaching, girls' getaways, and convention. It was a much needed trip to anywhere but we decided that the scenery in the wine country was much better than "anywhere" so we went to Windsor, CA. It's close enough that we could drive and far enough away that we had to get the kids to take care of the dogs. Honestly, I have been looking forward to this trip ever since we started planning it. "We" is a relative term when talking about the specifics of trip planning. It typically goes like this:
Sylvia: There's a place we could stay at in Windsor!
Me: Sounds great!
S: Let's see if there's a place in Monterey, that's nice too.
J: Yup!
S: Oh, they're booked. What's this next place? Where is that? They've got a room for some of the time.
J: Just checked. It's down near San Diego.
S: That's too far. Let's look at....
And so on, and so forth, for a while...until.
S: What about that place we could stay at in Windsor! Should I book it?
J: Yes! Great! Thanks!
Trust me, I am not complaining! I just know how she likes to look at all the possibilities and try to find the very best for us. I appreciate it sincerely and, honestly, if Sylvia is there, it's my favorite place to be.
So we took the relatively short drive to Windsor and started our getaway. It took a lot less time to type that than the actual event because we have a habit of setting several ambitious departure times and then watching helplessly as they each gently slide by in activity-filled succession. 12 o'clock. Begin packing and oh I just want to spruce up the kitchen before we go. 1 o'clock. Phone call from family. 2 o'clock. Text from Krisi asking if it's OK to bring over someone she'd like us to meet. 4 o'clock. Finalize packing. 4:45 Make sure the dogs are OK since they never like it when we get out a suitcase. 5 o'clock. Leave the house.
I said all that so you would get the idea that it was beginning to get dark when we got checked in. We got our keys, and these cool little bracelets that are keys that you wear, and set off to find our building.
We parked, got out, and followed the sketched out pen drawing of the map to the elevator since lugging a few suitcases up to the third floor was not my idea of a great start to a relaxing vacation. When the elevator door opened it looked a little darker than the inside of a typical elevator but we could just make out the number three button and the doors began to close. As they did, it got darker, and darker and then there was absolutely no light. It was a little disconcerting. We knew we were alone and we knew that we were only two 'ding's away from our final destination. Well, hopefully not our final destination but you know what I mean. The doors opened and we were greeted by an empty walkway. No large man in a hockey mask. Nobody with sharpened knives where fingers should have been. Not even a mild-mannered accountant looking gentleman who, inexplicably, was wearing a clear plastic coverall over his pocket protector and white button up shirt. There was nobody there, and we got to our room without a problem. (I'd like to add that we were able to open the door at a normal pace and not by frantically fumbling with the key in an effort to get in and slam the door just before the lumbering dark figure reached the threshold as the music quickened and the cymbal crashed!)
We set down our things, unpacked the suitcase into the dresser in the bedroom, (yes, we are those type of people...are you?), and then called the front desk to tell them that there was a situation in the elevator in building number 3. After a bit we left the room to go grab something to eat and we talked about how someone could have broken the light in an effort to make criminal activity easier to achieve and how she was glad I was with her when we encountered the spooky elevator because she knew, with me being a large guy...it would take a while for the madman to finish me off and she'd have time to run away to safety! (that's not even close to her reason, but I've seen these kinds of shows and I know that Sylvia is definitely leading lady material! They are always fine.) As we walked toward the maniac-free stairs I suggested that we try the elevator to see if they had already fixed the light. No such luck...but I got out the flashlight on my phone and noticed that there wasn't one large fluorescent light fixture but 6 individual bulbs.
I figured the odds of six lights going out simultaneously were astronomical. I thought about how well-regulated and inspected elevators generally are and how unlikely it would be to have an entire system broken in a well-maintained facility so I reached up and twisted a bulb. Immediately there was light! I reached for the others and, in no time, the elevator was back to its fully illuminated serial killer-free self. Sylvia remarked about how my brain just doesn't work the same way as others do and how it would never occur to her to try the light bulbs to see if they were unscrewed. I'm used to it. At least I am using my powers for good and not evil.
And that, officer, is how my fingerprints got onto all of the lightbulbs in the elevator! I'm innocent I tell you! Dun dun dunnnnnn...
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