New Strategy?

It seems that I am not having too much luck in the "here's millions of dollars for your writing" arena when I write about random things like restaurant conversations and phony interviews. I am going to officially change tactics. I rewatched (not sure if that is a word...pretty sure it isn't) Julie and Julia last night and an idea hit me.

You see, in this movie the main character writes about her experience with cooking through Julia Child's cookbook and eventually gets it made into a book and even a movie. Perhaps people connect more with food and recipes. Therefore, I have decided. I will begin to write about my experience with cooking. Of course the movie, and the blog that it was about, was based on a year in her life. I cannot promise to maintain that sort of stamina...especially because I have a family.  I will do my best.

And I am not terribly interested in Julia Child's sort of cooking. Besides the fact that the French cooking subject has already been done. I would hate to be called a copycat.  I would also hate to split the copious royalties of my impending book deal with someone else...Well someone else besides Kristiana's choir teacher, Jake's art teacher, their orthodontist, the bank who owns the house, and the beachfront hotel in Carmel that Sylvia so deserves but we haven't seemed to make it to. Sorry Sylvia, I love you.

Another reason I do not want to try to go through the Julia Child cookbook is Aspic. Apparently there are many aspic recipes in her book.  I have some experience with aspic. If you've never had it you are really missing something. It is the sort of food by which you compare all other bad food. I feel like I should apologize to people who enjoy aspic but I can't believe that either of them is reading my modest little blog. Also, let me assure you that I speak from personal experience. You see my mom has a dear aunt. One day, decades ago, we visited her in her assisted living apartment and it was an occasion. She pulled out all the stops. Nice tablecloth, china, cloth napkins, the works. Even as a child I could see that this lunch was something she was looking forward to and had spent a lot of time preparing for. Imagine my childish delight when she went to the refrigerator and pulled out what looked to be individual jello molds for everyone. And then of course I took a bite. It was, so, not the sweet strawberry jello that I was used to. I found myself with a mouthful of something that I had never tasted before. I also found myself with a new expression for some new food that I don't appreciate, "It could be worse. It could be aspic." To ease your fears, I will let you know that I ate the entire plate of aspic and my dear sweet aunt was none the wiser. I was brought up with manners, thank you very much.

So back to the dilemma about which kind of food I can write about. Oh the pressure. I suppose it would not be too informative to blog a list of take out menus. Seriously, I am not the kind of guy who does things like that. Although if you are ever in town I can tell you that Round Table Pizza can be reached at 793-9393. (unfortunately for my ever expanding belly I didn't need to look that up).

I could write about recipes that I have successfully cooked for the family, but that could be written on a small pamphlet instead of a year-long blog. It would be a medium sized pamphlet if you allowed me to include various types of juices frozen into ice trays...complete with toothpicks I might add.

Actually I have a list of recipes that were my favorites growing up that my mom copied for me when I moved out. Seems like I can never make them taste just like the "real" thing but they get close. Not really a ringing endorsement right? "Here's something that I can do almost as good as my mom."  

No, the real cook in the house is Sylvia. She never met a recipe that she couldn't make better. One of her recipes for chicken pot pie is sought after all over our community. The funny thing is, she never made it the way they suggested it in the cookbook. She looked and said, "Are they kidding?  It needs ________!" and away she goes.  As she was making it the first time she changed it. Fame. Fortune. Food. Creativity. That's Sylvia. Phone. Frozen. Fast. That's me.

No, food is not for me.  I think I need to remain focused on what I really know. Random thoughts taken to outrageous and illogical extremes to try to elicit laughter. Which coincidentally is what usually happens when I try to cook.