Where Is A Matchbook When You Need One?

Today, I am talking to some of the youngin's out there. Everyone is welcome, but I felt the need to deliver a lesson early this school year. Enjoy!

Let me begin today by explaining to all the younger readers that, back in the day, (that's "when I was your age" for this generation) they used to have these marvelous little contraptions that would play music...just for you...and they were only slightly bigger than a shopping cart! Well the really cool ones were that sized anyway. I, of course, had none. Too expensive, and I didn't really have music that I was interested in investing the energy to carry around.

Back then the primary way to listen to portable music was on something called a cassette. It was a roll of magnetic tape that, with the proper machine and electrical charges, could record sound. By today's standard the cassette is much like the giant cone scratching sound vibrations onto a ceramic cylinder. This method was sort of like the record of my youth. Which, of course, you have never seen or perhaps even heard about unless you have studied ancient history (or watched a movie where they had a sock hop). You see a sock hop is...oh never mind.

Cassettes weren't even the best at what they did. There was a better way to listen to music. The advantage was the size difference. Cassettes were smaller. The 8-track was clearer and could hold more of a musical range but convenience won out and the 8 track tape went the way of the dinosaur. It was one example of the public choosing between two devices and then casting a foul shadow upon the loser. It was sort of like the Beta Max versus the VHS. Whoops. It was like the Ipod taking over personal music and leaving all others in the dust. And of course size had a huge part in this as well. I mean I have had coat buttons larger than some of the Ipods of today. I hope music devices don't get any smaller...I already needed to get the laser surgery so I could read the newspaper without looking through Coke bottles. (You see the newspaper is what we had before the interne...holy cow this is turning into a depressing posting.)

Anyway, I am old enough to have had one of the most ancient of these portable players. I had an 8 track player. My family used to listen to the 8 tracks whenever we went on long road trips in the camper. We had comedy albums by Lily Tomlin, we had a collection of older music that my dad bought in a set at a garage sale, and my sister bought a few Waylon and Willie tapes. (That's right sis, I'm calling you out...I'm not being called old-ish alone!) In my sister's defense, she never had an 8 track in her car. I did. Until my friends teased me for having something that was so "five minutes ago." (that is your generation's version of "old" and "outdated")

When I gave in to the teasing and installed a cassette player (and didn't need a trailer to haul around the exceptionally large 8 track tapes) I was able to play music that my friends brought over. It was great. Well, it was pretty good. You see, every once in a while the music would sound like it was being played through the soggy end of a beach towel. It wasn't a huge problem though. All you had to do was...say it with me, you know you wanna...squeeze a matchbook under the bottom of the cassette. Voila! The cassette tape aligned with the musical reading doodads and the towel was gone. Music again!

Well I was thinking back to those magical days when all you needed to fix technology was an extremely low tech solution. I have been wrestling with my computer for months and it has finally reached the point where I am crying out to the tens of readers for help. (And by the way...Thank you Beth for becoming the 23rd follower of the blog but as we all know 23 is an odd number but add to that the fact that 23 is a PRIME number...well you know how I am. Let's get some more people, people. OK, I'm better now.)

I had already told you all about my outboard motor powered computer. The noise was terrible. Now, I have changed the power supply to get the defective fan out and it is much quieter but it is still doing the thing that has vexed me (see that literary agents..."vexed" ...awesome vocab don't ya think? And I'm pretty sure I used it correctly!) What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the problem that just won't go away is that the computer will just turn itself off for no reason at all. I have already adjusted the power save options to waste energy but save material. I have changed the CMOS battery and taken out the RAM and put it back thirty seconds later. I took it out to my compressor and, making sure there was absolutely no water in the lines, blew all of the dust out of the tower. I have updated the virus protection and restored to a previously saved version. I have even replaced the power supply myself (because I didn't want to pay 90 dollars to have someone work on what is essentially an electronic Lego set). Individually all of these things are working, collectively they are ticking me off!

The latest thing I tried was last night. I had gotten it to stay on while I was working (it used to turn off in the middle of anything) so I changed the screen saver thinking that the computer didn't like to show pictures of the family. As soon as the saver turned on...the computer turned off. When I changed it to screen saver "none" I notice that I can walk away for a minute and it will still be on. Hope! This seems like an idiosyncrasy that I can work around! (Idiosyncrasy! SIX syllables! Are you serious!? WHY am I not being paid for this!?) It is a pain that it is not working like new fresh out of the box but I am willing to work with this if the computer is. Wish me luck...or give me ideas.

I feel I need to warn you that NONE of these ideas were mine. I would hate to have this blog evolve into a sort of tech support on accident. Besides, the only practical suggestion I have concerning computers would not be too helpful....I'd just tell you to slide a matchbook under that cool automatic cup holder that keeps popping out of the front!