Monday, February 10, 2014

The List

Years ago when Ray Orrock, my silent unwitting blog mentor and newspaper columnist, was working his magic with words and observations, he would include games for the readers to play.  Now don't get your hopes up.  I have no games for you today.  Well maybe one...if you behave yourselves.

A few weeks ago we made our world famous homemade pizza.  Well, it's maybe world renowned.  All right, all right, I made it while standing on the world.  Happy!?  (You are this close to losing today's game!  Watch your step!  I'm not mad.  I'm disappointed.)

Anyway, when we have people join us for dinner and they seem like fun-loving and tolerant people, I break out the world's simplest game.  It was a game that Mr. Orrock used to play every once in a while.  The birthday game.  I actually think he called it "golf"  but everything cannot be the same, can it?  When he would put this particular game into his column, it would come with instructions to guess the ages of the famous people, jot them down, then read to the end of the column and get the answers. The difference between your guess and the actual age was your score for that person and the lower the score the better.  At the end of the column he would have a score sheet that explained something like: 

0-3 Age Ace
4-6 Pretty Good Guesser
7-10 Amateur Ageist
11-15 Go watch some classic movies
16 +  Were you even trying?

I think he had more clever brackets than these...but what can I say, it's a vacation day for me.  Of course, when the game was over I was almost always in the "were you even trying" category because the people he put on the list were some that I'd never even heard of.  But it was fun.

 If you have stuck with me this long, and you stop putting that thing in your ear, (I mean really...you don't even know where it's been) then I suppose you have earned your game.  

Here goes:
Jennifer Anniston - from Friends
Tom Hiddleston - Loki on Thor
Joe Pesci - Either Goodfellas or Home Alone depending on your age
Taylor Lautner - (I think he was the kid I was a body double for in that vampire movie)
Christina Ricci - Casper or Addams Family
Josh Brolin - Brand on the Goonies ok, ok, MIB III (K from the past)
Jerry Springer (don't make the mistake of guessing apparent IQ...you'll be low)
Florence Henderson - Best known as Alice's boss on some show about the Brady kids.

OK, so that's the list.  Guess, keep score, and find your ranking.  That's it.  Feel free to comment with your score but I am not going to try to manipulate you into doing that by offering a prize of any kind.  Maybe I'll come cook you dinner...or clear out your gutters...or just hug your ankles since I am so starved for written recognition of any kind...but I digress.

The reason I mention this game at all is because I like to play the game during dinner.  When we all sit down to eat I break out the second page of the paper and read the names of the celebrities in the birthday column.  It's not really to see who will win, it's more of a fun way to get things going conversation wise.  Since the kids know that the newspaper list is in order according to age, and they are rarely people they've heard of, their guesses are usually "108" or "389."  When they get a little further down the list toward people that they've seen in movies or maybe heard of their band...then the guessing gets more serious.  Well serious for the Garrett household's dinner table.  There is a lot of laughter, many silly comments back and forth, and occasionally we make it nearly half way through the list by the time we have finished eating and having fun.  It is indeed a rare day when we get to the bottom of the list.  

We have had a few people over for dinner that didn't get treated to the birthday game.  On special occasions we forgo the folded paper at my end of the table.  But if the paper is handy, and the diners seem willing, we play.  Enter our newest friends.  

This young lady and her daughter came to visit and wiggled their way into our hearts.  They were instantly family even though we had never met.  Although, they are from the middle of the country so they are probably my cousins somehow.  We were so comfortable with our new additions to the family that I got out the paper and read the first, oldest name.  As is the case with many days, nobody knew who it was.  The kids guessed their usual silly numbers that rivaled summer temperatures in Arizona or on Mercury.  Sylvia guessed somewhere in the seventies and our guest just looked blankly wondering what was going on.  More conversation then I called out another name that nobody had ever heard of.  The kids guessed goofy, Sylvia guessed a little less than her previous guess, and the young lady said, "I don't get it.  Are you reading names from the obituary?"  

It seems, I was so comfortable with them that I forgot to tell her the rules of the pointless game.  We all enjoyed a laugh then performed the secret 'you are now part of the family' ritual and continued on.  We may have to rethink the whole parameters of the game though.  She regularly beats us.  

And now the answers:
Jennifer Anniston  45
Tom Hiddleston  33
Joe Pesci  71
Taylor Lautner  22
Christina Ricci  34
Josh Brolin  46
Jerry Springer  70
Florence Henderson 80

Let me know how you did.  Post your comments if you like.  The response I get to this might determine if I do another game in the future...It's another birthday game but I have to warn you it's a little morbid.  By the way, did you ever notice that people die in alphabetical order?

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