Tuesday, March 28, 2017

So it begins....

Four score and twenty five thousand cheeseburgers ago...

It's a little embarrassing to admit but I just got smacked in the back of the head... with a digital scale. About three weeks ago I got an email from my insurance company. I thought it was just another email that said things like, "Did you know that by cutting down on soda you can be an easy way to blah blah blah...?" This one was different in a couple of ways. First, it didn't say anything about soda. Second, it said they were going to send me stuff...for free! Never one to shy away from free stuff I read on.

Turns out I was a candidate for a program that I had never heard about due to the numbers that come up on my medical record. All I had to do was answer a few questions and hit send and they would evaluate whether or not I would be a good candidate for the program. The more I read the more I liked. There would be a group of people going through the program with me. There would be a coach to help me find delicious alternatives to pizza and bacon cheeseburgers. (hopefully) Finally, as I mentioned before, they are going to send me stuff! I decided to give it a try.

About ten minutes later, I was sending in the answers to my questionnaire and promising to use the computer to log in a bit every day. "Thank you for your interest. We will get back to you soon if you qualify."  I had no sooner hit send than I got a reply saying that I was not only "in" but they were going to send my welcome kit and a digital scale that will transmit my weight cellularly to weight-loss headquarters, my computer, my cell phone, my fourth grade English teacher, that weird TV on the top of those new gas pumps, and the jumbo-tron in Times Square. It's too late now. I said I'd do it. I'm still in! You can't scare me! (although you notice I haven't mentioned what my weight is, here....yet) Baby steps. I can't help but think that there was a team of nutritionists back at Kaiser high-fiving and fist-bumping each other exclaiming, "We got him! Maybe now we won't have to include the percentage of country gravy present in his next blood-work results!"

Regardless of how it happened, I have agreed to abide by the requirements of the program and I am happy to have support all around me. I'll talk about the amount of support and how it shows at some of the more unfortunate times as we get further along in the program. I haven't quite figured out how I will report my progress. As I get closer to weights that resemble the stats of people and not barrels of pickles or mid sized SUV's I will surely divulge. It'll be nice to shock people with my starting numbers as I move along on this trek.

So here it begins. I have my shiny new scale (you can almost make out the head-shaped dent from where it smacked me) and a winning attitude that will carry me through this journey. I also hope to hang onto my self-deprecating sense of humor to take some of the edge off of rice cakes infused with a hint of honey and cinnamon. The program is 16 weeks long and I am just starting. I'm going to blog my way through this. No promises of daily updates, unless you live near the jumbotron, but I will try to be mostly on top of this particular activity to hold myself accountable. If nothing else it will be a good accounting of what caused me to lose my mind and wander the streets muttering, "Dr Pepper...I want a Dr Pepper!"

1 comment:

  1. I am proud of you Jeff! I will watch for your progress at the gas pumps!