Every once in a while I am struck with an event so starkly that I think, "I better just sit down and write about that." Today is the day. Unfortunately, every other once in a while I am thwarted by things external forces that make it difficult to focus enough to write. I am going to try to fend off the forces of thwartdom today (it's a word). I feel I need to tell you though, that I have already misspelled four words that needed to be fixed, I have hit the CAPS LOCK button more times than a pinkie should be allowed, and I had to wrestle the carcass of a doomed sock out of the jaws of our new puppy. This first paragraph may be all I am allowed to write.
Testing...one, two, three...OK, I'll continue.
This morning was a morning where I didn't need to get up and go do anything. No alarm was set. No plans were made. We forgot to inform the puppy...and his puppy sized bladder. In true, "I love you honey and I appreciate that you get up all through the week to go to work" fashion, Sylvia got up and let the dogs out. (Which can finally answer the question, once and for all, Sylvia let the dogs out!...WOOF, WoofWoofWoof!) ...but I digress.
On certain Saturdays I am able to fully grasp this weekly gift and fall back asleep for a short time. There are times when even an extra hour can make you feel like standing in a stadium full of people with a microphone reenacting the "luckiest man" scene from the Lou Gehrig story. Today it was not to be. I rolled over, adjusted my pillows, and reviled that cursed condition known as tinnitus. (if you didn't already, please go back and re-read that last sentence using two syllables for cursed...I think this occasion calls for curse--ed)
If you are unfamiliar with tinnitus, allow me to elaborate. Wikipedia states that TI nih tous (or tin EYE tous) is a condition where there is a perceived internal sound in the absence of a corresponding external aural stimulus. And we know that Wikipedia is always correct so we will move on. (As an aside, I had no idea that Mother Teresa was actually killed in a drive-by outside of Chicago! Thank you Wiki!)
Jeff-i-pedia states that tinnitus (pronounce it any way you want...I can't hear it) is actually a way of making you feel like you have just walked out of a concert where the band bought their amps from "Spinal Tap" (you can turn them all the way up to eleven you know). It is always worse where there is no external sound and, apparently, on Saturday mornings where extra sleep is possible. On any given day it can range anywhere from barely noticeable to 'will someone answer that damn phone!' I have talked to a lot of people who have had their ears ring for just a couple seconds, for no reason, and then go back to normal. Mine do that all the time. Someone I used to work with said that he figured it was just an alien ship checking on the implant they put in his head. You know, to download all the things that he had thought since they implanted it. I used to work with frightening people.
The ringing makes it difficult to understand others at times. I have been tested for hearing loss on a few occasions and have been told, "You have substantial hearing loss due to exposure to noise." "You have moderate hearing loss in your right ear." and "Your hearing is actually very good." The opinions happened in that order. When I asked why I felt like everyone was mumbling things to me the doctor said, "As you age" (don't you just love that?) "you are more susceptible to weaker processing. Which means that hearing more things at one time gets harder and harder." This explains why I am deaf as a post when you go to anyplace noisy? "Exactly." So with my constant ringing, it's like I am at a noisy place all the time? "Could be." Super.
This morning, still laying in bed, I thought, "Wow this ringing is really bad this morning!" I had noticed the other night that I was having a bout of really loud imaginary sounds, I thought this was a continuation of that, but it was really annoying! I actually thought, wouldn't it be funny if there was a timer going off and I thought it was my ears! It could happen. There is no eliminating the noise. There is no cure. They don't know what is causing mine. I can mask it with external sound. Should I turn on the radio? TV? No, that would mean admitting that I was going to have to get up. So I just tried to shut it out...for a half an hour. Sylvia was up in the front of the house with the dogs, her coffee, and the latest in the book series she is reading. I thought, I will let her read undisturbed for a while. I decided to check my phone and see if anyone had said anything funny on Facebook since I last checked ten hours ago and when I turned to reach for my phone off the night stand, the ringing got louder.
When you have ringing in your ears, constantly, for more than thirty years, you never really get used to it but you do notice some things. I can predict that I will have an awesome night's sleep when we stay somewhere near running water. I know that it will be worse after I leave a moderately noisy environment (party, restaurant, fair...trust me, if I ever get dragged to a concert I wear protection like I am going to a military artillery range). I also have noticed that I cannot, ever, make it get louder or softer within the span of a few seconds...and never ever because of something I do. When I turned my head it got louder? Really? So I got up. Louder still. I walked down the hall. Louder still. I walked into Kristiana's room. Louder still Kristiana is away at a conference this weekend. Sylvia was up front. Jake is a teenager so there is no rousing him before ten on a Saturday, and I assumed it was just me who could hear it...until now.
I walked over to her desk, moved a stack of magazines, and turned off her alarm clock! Hooray! Now I just have to listen to the usual constant ringing in my ears!! Wait, what?
Testing...one, two, three...OK, I'll continue.
This morning was a morning where I didn't need to get up and go do anything. No alarm was set. No plans were made. We forgot to inform the puppy...and his puppy sized bladder. In true, "I love you honey and I appreciate that you get up all through the week to go to work" fashion, Sylvia got up and let the dogs out. (Which can finally answer the question, once and for all, Sylvia let the dogs out!...WOOF, WoofWoofWoof!) ...but I digress.
On certain Saturdays I am able to fully grasp this weekly gift and fall back asleep for a short time. There are times when even an extra hour can make you feel like standing in a stadium full of people with a microphone reenacting the "luckiest man" scene from the Lou Gehrig story. Today it was not to be. I rolled over, adjusted my pillows, and reviled that cursed condition known as tinnitus. (if you didn't already, please go back and re-read that last sentence using two syllables for cursed...I think this occasion calls for curse--ed)
If you are unfamiliar with tinnitus, allow me to elaborate. Wikipedia states that TI nih tous (or tin EYE tous) is a condition where there is a perceived internal sound in the absence of a corresponding external aural stimulus. And we know that Wikipedia is always correct so we will move on. (As an aside, I had no idea that Mother Teresa was actually killed in a drive-by outside of Chicago! Thank you Wiki!)
Jeff-i-pedia states that tinnitus (pronounce it any way you want...I can't hear it) is actually a way of making you feel like you have just walked out of a concert where the band bought their amps from "Spinal Tap" (you can turn them all the way up to eleven you know). It is always worse where there is no external sound and, apparently, on Saturday mornings where extra sleep is possible. On any given day it can range anywhere from barely noticeable to 'will someone answer that damn phone!' I have talked to a lot of people who have had their ears ring for just a couple seconds, for no reason, and then go back to normal. Mine do that all the time. Someone I used to work with said that he figured it was just an alien ship checking on the implant they put in his head. You know, to download all the things that he had thought since they implanted it. I used to work with frightening people.
The ringing makes it difficult to understand others at times. I have been tested for hearing loss on a few occasions and have been told, "You have substantial hearing loss due to exposure to noise." "You have moderate hearing loss in your right ear." and "Your hearing is actually very good." The opinions happened in that order. When I asked why I felt like everyone was mumbling things to me the doctor said, "As you age" (don't you just love that?) "you are more susceptible to weaker processing. Which means that hearing more things at one time gets harder and harder." This explains why I am deaf as a post when you go to anyplace noisy? "Exactly." So with my constant ringing, it's like I am at a noisy place all the time? "Could be." Super.
This morning, still laying in bed, I thought, "Wow this ringing is really bad this morning!" I had noticed the other night that I was having a bout of really loud imaginary sounds, I thought this was a continuation of that, but it was really annoying! I actually thought, wouldn't it be funny if there was a timer going off and I thought it was my ears! It could happen. There is no eliminating the noise. There is no cure. They don't know what is causing mine. I can mask it with external sound. Should I turn on the radio? TV? No, that would mean admitting that I was going to have to get up. So I just tried to shut it out...for a half an hour. Sylvia was up in the front of the house with the dogs, her coffee, and the latest in the book series she is reading. I thought, I will let her read undisturbed for a while. I decided to check my phone and see if anyone had said anything funny on Facebook since I last checked ten hours ago and when I turned to reach for my phone off the night stand, the ringing got louder.
When you have ringing in your ears, constantly, for more than thirty years, you never really get used to it but you do notice some things. I can predict that I will have an awesome night's sleep when we stay somewhere near running water. I know that it will be worse after I leave a moderately noisy environment (party, restaurant, fair...trust me, if I ever get dragged to a concert I wear protection like I am going to a military artillery range). I also have noticed that I cannot, ever, make it get louder or softer within the span of a few seconds...and never ever because of something I do. When I turned my head it got louder? Really? So I got up. Louder still. I walked down the hall. Louder still. I walked into Kristiana's room. Louder still Kristiana is away at a conference this weekend. Sylvia was up front. Jake is a teenager so there is no rousing him before ten on a Saturday, and I assumed it was just me who could hear it...until now.
I walked over to her desk, moved a stack of magazines, and turned off her alarm clock! Hooray! Now I just have to listen to the usual constant ringing in my ears!! Wait, what?
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