Good From Sad

This weekend I attended a memorial service for someone I used to go to church with.  I, unfortunately, can't say that we were close because, as her sister put it, she reserved that honor for a very select and lucky few.  We were in the same church youth group when we were in high school and she was closer to my older sister than she was to me.  I could spend my entire time here telling you about what a caring, giving, generous, loving, thoughtful, creative, hard-working person she was.  I could also explain that she was taken far too young and that while I believe it is part of God's plan, it hurts when someone leaves us this young.  I could explain that it seems there are at least three or four people, somewhere, who are going to need to pick up the pace, do a little bit extra, and love a little more, to make up for what the world is missing in Gayle's passing.  I could do all of these things, and they would all be true, but the family did a beautiful job of that at the service, so today I would like to try to take a piece of good from the sad.

One happy occurrence that always accompanies a memorial service is that people who don't normally get to see each other are drawn together in a sort of bittersweet reunion.  I always feel a little guilty about being happy at a memorial and this was no exception.  I was greeted by people I haven't seen in months, years, and in one instance...(sorry Brenda)...decades!  Not only is it impossible to not be at least a little happy about seeing old friends but, as Gayle's sister put it, "Gayle said it made her sad to see everyone cry."

As the service concluded and I walked over to the group my sister was talking to I saw someone who looked familiar.  She smiled as I walked over and I said a tentative, "Brenda?"  Nod.  Hug.  The usual.  Brenda was a friend of my sister's and I considered changing her name for the blog's sake but then I couldn't tell you the nickname that Sue had given her, "Brenda Boo."  I am almost certain that Sue was the only person that has ever called her that, but that is how I remember her.  Brenda was a friend of Sue's that elevated herself to a little higher status in my mind because of my one criteria...she was nice to Sue's dorky little brother.

After we got done with the typical, "How are you?" "I'm fine." "I wish we weren't seeing each other under these circumstances." "What are you doing now?" "Weren't you a lot shorter when you were junior high?" and "You have kids that are how old?!" conversation, my dorkiness reared its ugly head.

I said, as seriously as I could, "You know Brenda, I always told myself that if ever I saw you again I would ask you this question.  Here it is, years later, and you are here.  I need to ask you."

She got very solemn.  "What is it?"

"Did you ever replace the side rubber bumper guard on the front of your car?"

Baffled silence.  Quizzical look.

Brenda had a sedan, I think it was late 70's Honda back when cars still used a little bit of chrome for the bumpers.  On either side of the straight square chrome bumper was a hard rubber piece that covered the end and curved around to hug the car.  Except in Brenda's case.  Three quarters of her bumper guards were in place and there was one stub...right front if I remember correctly (I do) and I used to tease her about it every Sunday after church.

"Your car.  The front bumper had a guard on the side.  Your's sheared off and it just stayed off for years!  Please tell me you replaced it!"

She started to laugh that someone would remember something so mundane from way back when.

I continued, "I mean you bought the replacement piece and everything.  It was just two bolts.  It could have been replaced in fifteen minutes.  Please, please, tell me that you replaced it!"

Brenda understood that I was teasing her again, and started to laugh.

My sister, who is my best blog promoter (even though she hasn't promoted me to any publishers who then decided to give me their standard "Rich-and-Famous" contract), said, "You're goin' in the blog!"  In order to not make my sister a liar, I decided that I better put Brenda in here.

After a while I started saying my good-byes and started heading home to get ready for company that was coming I walked back by Brenda and my sister.  She leaned in and laughed, "You know...I don't think I ever did replace that thing!"

So, dear readers, this is very important.  If you happened to buy a Honda from the San Francisco Bay Area, I'm guessing sometime around the mid 80's, and that car had a rubber piece missing off the side of the bumper, but the girl who sold it to you told you that the piece was in the trunk and she just hadn't had a chance to put it on...please send me a picture to show me that it has been taken care of!  Symmetry is important you know!