An Auction

I have been giving free advertising to the people at Google ads long enough!  I am only up to $17.40 and they won't send a check until I get to $100.  I have come up with a new strategy for making money.  For those of you who have been readers since the beginning this is technically a new, new, new, new strategy for making money.  But so be it!  Something has to change!

As you all know, I started writing this blog to become 'rich and famous'.  I suppose I could become 'famous and rich' but 'rich' definitely needs to be somewhere in the top two.  

Everyone has heard of King Midas and his unique ability to turn whatever he touched into gold.  I actually know people like him (minus the annoying part about turning his daughter into an expensive shiny statue).  These people have a knack for things related to money and will regularly say things like, "Yeah, I bought the car on a whim.  Who knew I would sell it for ten times what I paid three years later!"  or "I picked this painting up at a garage sale to cover the stain on the wall.  The original frame was blocking Picasso's signature."  You've seen these Midases on the news.  It is OK to dislike them.

Lately, I have been more like King Nimrod, Midas' illegitimate step-brother.  Everything I touch turns into a bill.  There used to be a children's story about Nimrod but it was too scary for the kids (and the adults reading it) and they would beg for the 'nice' story about the lady in the cookie house who killed kids by shoving them into a wood-burning oven!  Ahhh, good times.  

Yes, I have been very Nimrod-like for a while.  I won't bore you with all the details but let's just say that broken bones at night are expensive, the dog can almost jump over the picket fence, brakes shouldn't sound like that, it shouldn't feel like every road you are driving on is a dirt road, and a little leak never turns out to be just a little leak.  Oh yeah, and a personal favorite, the little squeak you hear in when you turn left could be a fifty nine cent worn bushing...or a new front end.  Actually that last one was technically my dad's truck...but I bet you can guess who's hands were on the wheel when the sound came up!  (Sorry Dad, from your son, King Nimrod)  Luckily my dad knows better than to take my advice to just turn the radio up to hide the noise and it is being fixed as I write.

So you can see why I needed to develop a new strategy for becoming rich.  I have been going over and over plots (I mean sound financial strategies) in my mind and the one I have landed on today is an auction via blog.   My first blog contest was a smashing success!  I think I came up with the idea for the auction when someone stopped by the house to ask how much I wanted for the car sitting dormant in the driveway I had also just watched a TV auction with Jake.  Actually, people regularly stop by and ask about the car in the driveway.  Let me just say, it stands out.

It is a 1973 Datsun 240Z.  It is a fairly rare sports car to begin with, but this one has the extra added attraction of being painted white in the front, red in the back and a diagonal stripe separating the two halves.  My friend, who designed the paint job, called it The Z'bra.  The way it looks is what gets people interested enough to stop and ask.  Then I get to tell them about my friend, Joe, who used to have a shop here in town.  He put racing suspension on the car.  It has been rumored, by someone other than me (because my kids may eventually read this), that it can go through the very curvy Niles Canyon at a "significantly higher than legal" speed.  It is a fun little sports car to drive but since it is exceedingly unpractical for a family of four (especially since it is a two-seater) I have decided to auction off The Z'bra.

This will make Sylvia very upset.  For years I have been telling her about sitting with my dad and my uncles  listening to them talk about their old cars.  There were wild exploits, crazy modifications, high speeds, and good times.  All of the stories, without exception, would end with, "If I only had that car today."  Well this is the car for my stories and...I still have that car today!  She has forbidden me, on numerous, occasions to sell the car.  She doesn't want me to have any regrets.

But alas, times are tough and we could really use a little extra cash so I have, with a lump in my throat, decided to hold an auction here on the blog.  I suppose I will need to limit the amount of time so let's say that all bids should be in by this Sunday, August 21st.   To be fair I will take the highest bid and it will be your responsibility to come and get the car.  I have no idea what the transfer fees will be, should it be won by a Slovenian farmer, so you will need to check on that before you bid.  All bids should be made as comments to the blog.  I can't think if I have forgotten anything so I reserve the right to add legal stuff later.

Good Luck!

OK, let's start the bidding at $25,000.  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?

Now if you'll excuse me I need to start thinking about my next get rich scheme.  I plan to sit outside and check all the lottery tickets that happen to blow by to see if they are winners!  Ca-CHING!