The Pressure!

Today is dedicated to all the people out there who have to live with stress.  I feel your pain.  I have had a few jobs in the past that have been regular pressure cookers.  I have had two, in particular, where I would start to get this heavy feeling in my chest as I drove in.  The feeling would last all day and then magically dissipate as I was driving home at the end of the day.  I get it.  It got so bad that I, a male person of the American variety, actually went to the doctor to see what I could do.  He said, "That heavy feeling in your chest is your body telling you that it doesn't like where you are taking it." 
I had one job at a parts counter where I swear a little dark cloud formed over my head as I left my house.  When I had a particularly awful customer the little cloud would send out sparks and lightning bolts.  I never could direct the bolts toward the unruly customers but not for lack of trying. 

I am in awe of people who can dedicate their lives to doing things like being firemen, policemen, or soldiers.  It is not my personality to put my life on the line like that.  I'm sure, if the situation arose, I could manage to lift a bus off of a bunch of burning nuns (I figure I will have to do it one of these days since that is what I tell work when I come in a few minutes late) but to be prepared to do that daily...not this kindergarten teacher.

Don't get me wrong.  There is stress in my line of work.  But it is mostly limited to wondering how many bacteria were sprayed onto me when the student I was helping sneezed right in my face!  Of course there is way more stress than that but you get the idea.  But I'm sorry, worrying that there isn't enough artwork up on the walls for Open House is not on the same level as wondering if I should cut the red or green wire.

I have had a teensy little problem that is adding to my daily stress.  My fancy shmancy smart phone has decided that a few hours is plenty of time to hold a charge.  Nothing like being somewhere and want to call home to ask a question and find out that you need to go on a quest for a pay phone.  (I am really curious how the makers of Superman 6(?) are going to handle him changing without phone booths...Truth!  Justice!  Public Nudity!!)  but I digress...

I went in to the store yesterday, while walking home from having new brakes put on the van (so we could stop without scaring small children with the loud grinding sound...more stress) to see if they could help me solve this dilemma.  I won't mention the name of the store but they, Verizon, did little to alleviate my stress.  The salesman asked to see my phone to try to squeeze a little more life out of the battery...and then he walked away with it!  The other salesman took me over to the new phone which, "Has much more battery capacity!  And all for the low low price of only $300!" (Stress!)  I regretted handing over my old phone and hoped they weren't trying to make me walk away with the new one by putting my old one in a car crusher.  Or maybe I watch too many Chevy Chase Vacation movies.  I grabbed my old phone and got out of there...besides they didn't have the newest phone in the correct shade of 'metallic pea'. 

After a long day of this and that and errands and shopping and car repair and animals and phone calls and laundry and life...I was ready for a peaceful night's sleep.  And then the true stress hit!  There I was, minding my own business, when out of the bathroom came Sylvia.  The tiny, thin, drawstring on her sweatpants had developed a knot!  I am the official knot un-tie-er of the family.  I was on!  I worked feverishly!  The kids were off to the side blotting the sweat from my forehead!  Sylvia did her best to not dance up and down and I tried to figure out exactly which thread pull would tighten and which would loosen this problem.  And then I got it!  The day was saved.  Sylvia was relieved...literally.  All was right with the world.

I gotta tell you, if having to untie the minuscule knot on your wife's sweatpants so she can "go" is not one of the training exercises to be a Navy Seal...it should be!  Talk about pressure!